BREAKING NEWS: Donald Trump’s surprising move to support US science

I suppose we all heard that DONALD TRUMP has recently turned his genius towards the film industry. Specifically, he wrote:

“The Movie Industry in America is DYING a very fast death. Other Countries are offering all sorts of incentives to draw our filmmakers and studios away from the United States. Hollywood, and many other areas within the U.S.A., are being devastated. This is a concerted effort by other Nations and, therefore, a National Security threat. It is, in addition to everything else, messaging and propaganda! Therefore, I am authorizing the Department of Commerce, and the United States Trade Representative, to immediately begin the process of instituting a 100% Tariff on any and all Movies coming into our Country that are produced in Foreign Lands. WE WANT MOVIES MADE IN AMERICA, AGAIN!”

Well done Donnie!

After this decisive move, the hero of the mentally challenged announced another, even more far-reaching and long-awaited measure:

“TARIFFS ON RATIONAL THOUGHT”

On his patform ‘UNTRUTH ASOCIAL’, Trump proclaimed:

Rational thinking in America is DYING a very fast death. Other Countries are offering all sorts of incentives to draw scientists and other experts away from the United States. Universities and many other areas within the U.S.A., are being devastated and pseudo-science is thriving as a result. This is a concerted effort by other Nations and, therefore, a National Security threat. It is, in addition to everything else, messaging and propaganda! Therefore, I am authorizing all my government Departments and other relevant bodies of the US administration, to immediately begin the process of instituting a 100% Tariff on any and all RATIONAL THOUGHTS coming into our Country that are produced in Foreign Lands. WE WANT SCIENCE MADE IN AMERICA, AGAIN!

Trump’s latest move earned criticism as soon as it became public. Democrats pointed out that it was Trump himself who had driven US scientists to seek employment outside their home country. A spokesperson of the Whit House responded with merely a two-word-statement:

FAKE NEWS!