MD, PhD, FMedSci, FRSB, FRCP, FRCPEd

Having been in contact with homeopaths most of my life, I had almost come to the conclusion that they tend to be more than a little short of a sense of humour. Well, I was wrong! I first realised my error when I came across this website. Under the heading ‘WHY USE HOMEOPATHICS?’, it lists 6 reasons which are undeniably full of humour, satire and irony. Here they are:

  • Homeopathy is extremely effective. When the correct remedy is taken, results can be rapid, complete and permanent.
  • Homeopathy is completely safe. Even babies and pregnant women can use Homeopathy without the danger of side effects. Homeopathic remedies can also be taken alongside other medication without producing unwanted side effects.
  • Homeopathy is natural. Homeopathic remedies are normally based on natural ingredients.
  • Homeopathy works in harmony with your immune system, unlike some conventional medicines which suppress the immune system. (For example, cough medicines suppress the cough reflex, which is your body’s attempt to clear the lungs)
  • Homeopathic remedies are not addictive – once relief is felt, you should stop taking them. If no relief is felt, you are probably taking the wrong homeopathic remedy.
  • Homeopathy is holistic. It treats all the symptoms as one, which in practical terms means that it addresses the cause, not the symptoms. This often means that symptoms tackled with Homeopathy do not recur.

This is hilarious, but perhaps not as funny as this website of the ‘British Homeopathic Dental Association’ (yes, you read correctly: there are dentists who use homeopathy!) providing ‘six good reasons why you should visit a homeopathic dentist’:

  1. Because they treat patients holistically
  2. Homeopathic remedies are effective and have no unpleasant side effects
  3. There are remedies which stop swelling and pain after injections and extractions
  4. There are remedies which reduce the pain and swelling of dental abscesses
  5. There are remedies which alleviate toothache
  6. There are remedies which which cure ulcers and cold sores and many more

You might think that these are isolated cases of humour. If so, I recommend you go on the internet and find what else homeopathy offer for our amusement. There is more laughter hidden in the homeopathic websites that you can possibly imagine. Here is another example: on his homepage, a homeopath clearly states that the following list of conditions are curable/treatable with homeopathy:

You have to admit, this is funny! No?

Perhaps this website will make you giggle:

The online procedure for homeopathic treatment is straightforward, and only requires four simple steps. Please note that your second Follow Up Consultation is absolutely free.

  1. First, please send me some basic information about yourself, so that I can analyse your case. In my reply I will inform you if Homeopathic treatment can be successful personally for you. This step is absolutely FREE.
  2. After receiving my reply, you may decide whether you wish to continue with treatment. You can then make a payment and you will be sent a First Consultation Form, to complete via email, which you should fill in carefully and send back. This will be a detailed questionnaire.
  3. Please allow two days for me to read your form, from which I will be able to work out your case. I will then send you a reply, with written report regarding your general state of health, pointing possible weaknesses and a Homeopathic prescription for Homeopathic remedies with full explanation of how to use them and the reason why they are prescribed.
  4.  After your initial period of using homeopathic medication is over / usually 4-5 weeks/, you will then be asked to fill in a Follow Up Consultation Form, which will be sent to you. This is to see how you have got on with the treatment.

From here, the fourth step is repeated until you are treated. As stated above, your second Follow Up Consultation is absolutely free. This is to encourage you to stay on your course of treatment, as often (not always), you will need some patience to see lasting results. Your health is my first priority.

You will also have phone and email support from me at any time while you are using this service.

I am only ever a phone-call away if you have any queries and I do not charge for this service.

There you are, I am certain that nobody can deny it: THIS IS COMIC GOLD!!!

Good humour carries a strong element of satire aimed at “the absurdity of everyday life”. And surely these homeopaths are spot on.

9 Responses to And I thought homeopaths have no humour!

  • Homeopathy works in 100 % of all cases. If really it does not work on you, you are definitively the wrong person. Change yourself as fast as possible.

    • It will work on him as well, if a proper case taking is done and he gives the right symptoms. We have best remedies for treating these type of mental symptoms, when there is denial, criticism, stubbornness and haughtiness etc.
      I think that need some high doses of Sulphur such as 10M.
      Mr Edzard Ernst, why don’t you give a try and see the results. You will be not disappointed, but will be enlightened.

  • Writer’s cramp? Who knew?

  • Dear Edzard Ernst,
    I see that you are all time busy criticising Homeopathy. Maybe, you have nothing else to do. Please devote your good time for some good work for the society, and leave homeopaths to serve the suffering community. It look like that you are paid to defame the Art and Science of Homeopathy.
    If there are clouds in the sky, then there will be no sunshine, that does not mean, that sun is not there. A time will come in your life, when Homeopathy will save from any grave illness. If this happens, then come to me and I shall happily help you and pardon you for your sins and venom spitting crimes against homoeopathy.
    Actually, you don’t know that by criticising and spreading silly rumours against homoeopathy, you are harming and keeping many sick people away from getting help from homoeopathy. I am sure that you are responsible this cruelty. God and time will give you wisdom.
    Somebody told me that you are publicity hungry, so you need to be in the news all the time. is this true?
    I know that you are very shrewd and tactful, so I need your honest reply.
    With best wishes

  • Gives me a great idea for a documentary: Medical Barbarism of India.

  • A terrible reading this site. Following some of the advice there might prove dangerous or even fatal.
    What’s with this title “MD (Hom)” that homeoquack is using? From what I can find it doesn’t mean they are real MD’s. Many Indian homeoquacks seem to openly call themselves “Dr.” And “MD” and (sometimes?) use the puny disclaimer “(Hom)”, perhaps to avoid being accused of fraud?

    Narcissistic delusions of grandeur appear common in homeopaths, especially those with indian sounding names.

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