To write an AT FAP seems far from easy. The reason for this is simple: the reality of alternative medicine is often more fantastic than what our fantasy can make up. I hope you give it a try nevertheless and send me your stories. Here are AT FAPs 10, 11 and 12.
AT FAP No 10 (by Edzard Ernst)
IMPORTANT NEW ARTICLE IN ‘SOS’
A little-known but nevertheless important monthly journal called ‘Snake-Oil Salesman’ (SOS) has just published a remarkable article which, I think, deserves a mention here. The paper entitled HOW TO BE SUCCESSFUL IN HARD TIMES – A ROAD-MAP TO HEALTH AND WEALTH was authored by the chief executive of ‘Dutchy Originals Herbal Tinctures’ (DOHT) but the grapevine has it that Prince Charles had important input as well. The article explains that, during recessions, snake-oil salesmen are the ones who suffer most. People are just not educated enough to realise the importance of snake oil to public health and wealth, the paper stated. The sale figures for Dutchy Originals Herbal Detox Tincture, for instance, have been declining steadily ever since the world financial crisis started. And that during a time when people need our products most, the SOS-paper stressed. In view of this dire situation, the experts at DOHT have conducted a multi-facetted research project funded by HRH with the aim of designing an effective strategy that will boost sale figures of any snake-oil product, even during hard times. The main part of the SOS-article goes into the strategy point by point. Here I take the liberty of listing from the executive summary the main landmarks on the road to snake-oil success:
- snake-oil is natural and natural means good, effective and foremost safe
- synthetic medicines have none of these qualities, on the contrary, they are amongst the leading causes of death in most countries
- snake-oils have stood the test of time; they were used much before today’s pharmaceuticals were even invented; in other words, they have been field tested for hundreds of years on millions of patients, and that is certainly more important than a few clinical trials
- snake-oils are thus supported by thousands of anecdotes and satisfied customers
- highly respected pharmacies like Boots sell snake-oil and some are even available on the NHS
- famous people, politicians and other pillars of society regularly use snake-oil; some even have a Royal warrant!
- several Nobel-prize winners endorse snake-oil
- compared to some modern drugs, snake-oil is cheap
- snake-oil is not just for one or two conditions, it is a ‘cure all’
- snake-oil is holistic, i.e. it takes care not just of your physical symptoms, like conventional drugs might do, it also increases wellness on the emotional and spiritual levels
- snake-oil is in tune with the current emphasis on patient choice in health care
The SOS-article concludes with the advice for snake-oil manufacturers to employ the above-listed elements for an effective sales-strategy wisely. Do not use all you ammunition at once, writes the paper states, if you adapt a small selection of them carefully to optimally suit your product, you will be able to sell your snake-oil well, and your customers will be delighted forthwith. It really is a win/win situation.
AT FAP No 11 (by Edzard Ernst)
THE ‘NO BRAIN DRAIN’
At a recent meeting of the ‘International Medical Research Standard Panel’ (IMRSP), a governance body of major research funding bodies across the globe aimed at watching over, as well as increasing the quality of medical research, members surprised the world of science: in an official statement, they expressed their pleasure with and approval of alternative medicine.
The panel had commissioned an investigation into the impact on research standards of the plethora of alternative medicine research groups (AMRGs). The investigators applied powerful statistical methods and demonstrated an unexpected but consistent effect: In regions where particularly many AMRGs had emerged, the quality of mainstream medical research seemed to improve; there was even something akin to a dose-effect relationship: the more AMRGs, the larger the improvement in quality.
The panel concluded that alternative medicine seems to attract those researchers who are “perhaps not the brightest buttons in the drawer”, as they elegantly put it. This ‘no brain drain’, they argued, has the effect that the less gifted scientists are drawn away from mainstream research which, in turn, means that the quality of mainstream science increases. A spokesman said: “we are pleased that so many AMRGs are emerging these days and hope the trend continues for the benefit of real medicine”.
AT FAP No 12 (submitted by ‘stopthequacks’)
Homeopathy successfully treats heart attack
As part of the intensive on-going research effort in the School of Homeopathy Education and Denialism (Shed) in our garden we’re delighted to report another success for homeopathy.
One of our leading researchers Del Usional was investigating homeopathic preparations of mains voltage alternating current. In these highly technical and detailed scientific experiments Del first cut the end off a kettle lead and removed the shielding from the live and neutral wires. He then plugged in the cable and put the exposed copper ends into some fresh tap water in a clean jam jar.
This resulted in Del being thrown backwards and landing on the lawnmower and suffering a cardiac arrest. Luckily a colleague witnessed this and called the paramedics. However, with great presence of mind, he began to succus and dilute the water that remained in the jar. The paramedics arrived and despite defibrillating Del were having no success, the race was on. !0, 20, 30C and Del was still in problems, chest compressions and oxygen were doing nothing. Finally 200C, we’d need a really potent remedy for this situation.
Just as the paramedics shocked Del again some of the 200C Alt Curr preparation was dripped on Del’s lips. Instantly he coughed and opened his eyes. He made a full recovery and the burns on his hands were successfully treated with homeopathic preparations (after skin grafting).
This clear and unequivocal result shows the power of homeopathy. The sceptics may well say we “don’t know” that it wasn’t quantum nano-bollock particles of copper from the wire rather than the electricity itself. But that’s just stupid – like cures like so it couldn’t be the copper, it is obviously the memory of the electricity in the water that had the effect.
We offered some of this highly potent medicine to the paramedic crew but they mysteriously declined, we can only assume they are in the pay of big Pharma.
HRH, The Prince of Wales has supported quackery on uncounted occasions. Several years ago, Charles even began selling his very own line of snake-oil. Now he surprises the British public with a brand new product: the ‘Baby Organic Hamper’. It is being sold for £195 under Prince Charles’ Highgrove-label and advertised with the following words:
A limited edition, hand-numbered hamper box packed with our new gentle organic bath and body products and a Highgrove Baby Bear. An ideal gift for new babies and parents. The blend of organic Roman chamomile and mandarin has been developed to be calm and gentle on delicate skin.
Roman chamomile has been known for centuries for its calming and relaxing benefits and also acts as an anti-inflammatory. Mandarin, known as ‘happy-oil’, has been chosen for its antiseptic properties and ability to boost immunity. Combined, this blend of ingredients produces a calming, protective barrier helping babies to relax. The exclusive, fully jointed Highgrove Baby Bear in antique mohair is made by Merrythought.
Provenance The unique bath and body collection has been created with Daniel Galvin Jr. in collaboration with Alexandra Soveral. Daniel Galvin Jr. has pioneered and developed organic products for hair and beauty over the last decade and Alexandra Soveral is a renowned and highly respected aromatherapist and facialist.
This new collection has been formulated in accordance with The Soil Association’s standards for health and beauty products, ensuring the purity of the range. Hamper Contents Body Lotion 100ml. Bath and Massage Oil 100ml. Flower Water 100ml. Bath and Body Wash 100ml. Balm 50ml. Highgrove Baby Bear.
Terms like relaxing benefits … anti-inflammatory … antiseptic properties … ability to boost immunity … protective barrier … helping babies to relax do undoubtedly amount to medical/therapeutic claims which, by definition (and by English law), need to be supported by evidence. I fail to see any sound evidence that either chamomile or mandarin oil or their combination have any of these effects on babies when applied as a body lotion, bath oil, massage oil, flower water, body wash.
The only RCT for mandarin-oil I could find concluded that results do not support a benefit of ‘M’ technique massage with or without mandarin oil in these young postoperative patients. Several reasons may account for this: massage given too soon after general anaesthesia, young patients’ fear of strangers touching them, patients not used to massage. For Roman Chamomile, I also identified just one relevant study; its results do not seem to suggest that the oil is the decisive factor in producing relaxation: Massage with or without essential oils appears to reduce levels of anxiety. Neither of these trials were done with babies, and crucially, no clinical trial at all seems to exist of the combination of the two oils as used in the Charles’ products.
As Charles and his team are clearly not scientists or health care experts, they took advice from people who might know about such matters: Daniel Galvin Jr. in collaboration with Alexandra Soveral. Daniel Galvin Jr. has pioneered and developed organic products for hair and beauty over the last decade and Alexandra Soveral is a renowned and highly respected aromatherapist and facialist.
This might look responsible at first glance; at closer scrutiny, Daniel Galvin turns out to be more an expert in cosmetics than in medicine; his own website explains: Born into the country’s most influential hairdressing dynasty, Daniel Galvin Jr, has been instrumental in the growth of the organic beauty market for the past 12 years and has been in the industry for 27 years. As a salon owner and creator of natural, organic professional haircare, he is at the forefront of colour expertise, with a client list including a ‘who’s who’ of TV personalities, British actors, royalty and London’s most beautiful socialites.
Alexandra Soveral might have once worked as an aromatherapist, but today she is the co-owner of a firm marketing natural beauty products; her website explains: We use rare & organic ingredients of the highest quality to create products that work in synergy with nature. We work towards a synthetic chemical free world. The scents from our essential oils evoke mind, body and soul reactions that promote well-being. We aim to continue our journey by always ensuring we source out new ways to improve our products and be kind to the planet.
At this point, two questions emerge in my mind: 1) is this just foolish nonsense or is it more sinister than that? 2) Why on earth does Charles venture into this sort of thing?
I would be inclined to file Charles’ baby-hamper under the category of ‘foolish nonsense’. Ok, it exploits the love of parents for their new-borns – £195 per item is not exactly cheap (even considering that it is HAND-NUMBERED!) – but the type of customer who might buy this product is probably not on the brink of financial hardship. The ‘foolish nonsense’ does, however, acquire a more sinister significance through the fact that the heir to the throne, who arguably should be an example to us all, yet again is responsible for unsubstantiated therapeutic claims. So, on balance, I think this is more than just foolish nonsense; in fact, it is yet another example of Charles misguiding the public through his passion for quackery.
Why does he do it? Does Charles need the money? No, unlike other quacks, he is not motivated by commercial interests. Is it for boosting his public image? Charles has certainly had an alternative bee under his royal bonnet for a very long time; in his quest to spread his abstruse notions of integrated health care, he has aquired an image to live up to. This new foray into quackery seems nevertheless baffling, in my view, because it is so obviously and cynically disregarding the law, regulations and evidence.
The way I see it, there are only two explanations for all this: either Charles is less aware of reality than one might have hoped, or he delegates trivial matters of this nature to one of his many sycophants without caring about the embarrassing details. Both of these possibilities are neither flattering for him nor reassuring for us…GOD SAVE THE QUEEN!
According to its authors, this RCT was aimed at investigating the 1) specific effect of individualized homeopathic Q-potencies compared to placebo and 2) the effect of an extensive homeopathic case taking (case history I) compared to a shorter, rather conventional one (case history II) in the treatment of acute major depression. In particular the second research question is intriguing, I think – so let’s have a closer look at this trial.
The study was designed as a randomized, partially double-blind, placebo-controlled, four-armed, 2×2 factorial trial with a 6-week study duration. A total of 44 patients were randomized (2∶1∶2∶1 randomization: 16 homeopathic Q-potencies/case history I, 7 placebo/case history I, 14 homeopathic Q-potencies/case history II, 7 placebo/case history II). Because of recruitment problems, the study was terminated prior to full recruitment, and was thus underpowered for the pre-planned confirmatory hypothesis testing. Exploratory data analyses showed heterogeneous and inconclusive results with large variance. The mean difference for the Hamilton-D after 6 weeks was 2.0 (95%CI -1.2;5.2) for Q-potencies vs. placebo, and -3.1 (-5.9;-0.2) for case history I vs. case history II. Overall, no consistent or clinically relevant results between homeopathic Q-potencies versus placebo and homeopathic versus conventional case taking were observed. The frequency of adverse events was comparable for all groups.
The conclusions were remarkable: although our results are inconclusive, given that recruitment into this trial was very difficult and we had to terminate early, we cannot recommend undertaking a further trial addressing this question in a similar setting.
Alright, the authors encountered problems in recruiting enough patients and they therefore decided to stop the trial early. This sort of thing happens. Most researchers would then not publish any data at all. This team, however, did publish a report, and the decision to do so might be perfectly fine: other investigators might learn from the problems which led to early termination of the study.
But why do they conclude that the results were INCONCLUSIVE? I think the results were not inconclusive but non-existent; these were no results to report other than those related to the recruitment problems. And even if one insists on presenting outcome data as an exploratory analysis, one cannot honestly say they were INCONCLUSIVE, all one might state in this case is that the results failed to show an effect of the remedy or the consultation. This is far less favourable for homeopathy than stating the results were INCONCLUSIVE.
And why on earth do the authors conclude “we cannot recommend undertaking a further trial addressing this question in a similar setting”? This does not make the slightest sense to me. If the trialists encountered recruitment problems, others might find ways of overcoming them. The research question asking whether the effects of an extensive homeopathic case taking differ from those of a shorter conventional one seems important. If answered accurately, it could disentangle much of the confusion that surrounds clinical trials of homeopathy.
I have repeatedly commented on the odd conclusions drawn by proponents of alternative medicine on the basis of data that did not quite fulfil their expectations, and I often ask myself at what point this ‘prettification’ of the results via false positive conclusions crosses the line to scientific misconduct. My theory is that these conclusions appear odd to those capable of critical analysis because the authors bend over backwards in order to conclude more positively than the data would seem to permit. If we see it this way, such conclusions might even prove useful as a fairly sensitive ‘bullshit-detector’.
We have probably all fallen into the trap of thinking that something which has stood the ‘test of time’, i.e. something that has been used for centuries with apparent success, must be ok. In alternative medicine, this belief is extremely wide-spread, and one could argue that the entire sector is built on it. Influential proponents of ‘traditional’ medicine like Prince Charles do their best to strengthen this assumption. Sadly, however, it is easily disclosed as a classical fallacy: things that have stood the ‘test of time’ might work, of course, but the ‘test of time’ is never a proof of anything.
A recent study brought this message home loud and clear. This trial tested the efficacy of Rhodiola crenulata (R. crenulata), a traditional remedy which has been used widely in the Himalayan areas and in Tibet to prevent acute mountain sickness . As no scientific studies of this traditional treatment existed, the researchers conducted a double-blind, placebo-controlled crossover RCT to test its efficacy in acute mountain sickness prevention.
Healthy adult volunteers were randomized to two treatment sequences, receiving either 800 mg R. crenulata extract or placebo daily for 7 days before ascent and two days during mountaineering. After a three-month wash-out period, they were crossed over to the alternate treatment. On each occasion, the participants ascended rapidly from 250 m to 3421 m. The primary outcome measure was the incidence of acute mountain sickness with headache and at least one of the symptoms of nausea or vomiting, fatigue, dizziness, or difficulty sleeping.
One hundred and two participants completed the trial. No significant differences in the incidence of acute mountain sickness were found between R. crenulata extract and placebo groups. If anything, the incidence of severe acute mountain sickness with Rhodiola extract was slightly higher compared to the one with placebo: 35.3% vs. 29.4%.
R. crenulata extract was not effective in reducing the incidence or severity of acute mountain sickness as compared to placebo.
Similar examples could be found by the dozen. They demonstrate very clearly that the notion of the ‘test of time’ is erroneous: a treatment which has a long history of usage is not necessarily effective (or safe) – not only that, it might be dangerous. The true value of a therapy cannot be judged by experience, to be sure, we need rigorous clinical trials. Acute mountain sickness is a potentially life-threatening condition for which there are reasonably effective treatments. If people relied on the ‘ancient wisdom’ instead of using a therapy that actually works, they might pay for their error with their lives. The sooner alternative medicine proponents realise that, the better.
A most excellent comment by Donald Marcus on what many now call ‘quackademia‘ (the disgraceful practice of teaching quackery (alternology) such as homoeopathy, acupuncture or chiropractic at universities as if they were legitimate medical professions) has recently been published in the BMJ.
Please allow me to quote extensively from it:
A detailed review of curriculums created by 15 institutions that received educational grants from the National Center for Complementary and Alternative Medicine (NCCAM) showed that they failed to conform to the principles of evidence based medicine. In brief, they cited many poor quality clinical trials that supported the efficacy of alternative therapies and omitted negative clinical trials; they had not been updated for 6-7 years; and they omitted reports of serious adverse events associated with CAM therapies, especially with chiropractic manipulation and with non-vitamin, non-mineral dietary supplements such as herbal remedies. Representation of the curriculums as “evidence based” was inaccurate and unjustified. Similar defects were present in the curriculums of other integrative medicine programs that did not receive educational grants….
A re-examination of the integrative medicine curriculums reviewed previously showed that they were essentially unchanged since their creation in 2002-03…Why do academic centers that are committed to evidence based medicine and to comparative effectiveness analysis of treatments endorse CAM? One factor may be a concern about jeopardizing income from grants from NCCAM, from CAM clinical practice, and from private foundations that donate large amounts of money to integrative medicine centers. Additional factors may be concern about antagonizing faculty colleagues who advocate and practice CAM, and inadequate oversight of curriculums.
By contrast to the inattention of US academics and professional societies to CAM education, biomedical scientists in Great Britain and Australia have taken action. At the beginning of 2007, 16 British universities offered 45 bachelor of science degrees in alternative practices. As the result of a campaign to expose the lack of evidence supporting those practices, most courses in alternative therapies offered by public universities in Britain have been discontinued. Scientists, physicians, and consumer advocates in Australia have formed an organization, Friends of Science in Medicine, to counter the growth of pseudoscience in medicine.
The CAM curriculums violate every tenet of evidence based medicine, and they are a disservice to learners and to the public. It could be argued that, in the name of academic freedom, faculty who believe in the benefits of CAM have a right to present their views. However, as educators and role models they should adhere to the principles of medical professionalism, including “a duty to uphold scientific standards.” Faculty at health profession schools should urge administrators to appoint independent committees to review integrative medicine curriculums, and to consider whether provision of CAM clinical services is consistent with a commitment to scholarship and to evidence based healthcare.
One of the first who openly opposed science degrees without science was David Colquhoun; in an influential article published in Nature, he wrote:
The least that one can expect of a bachelor of science (BSc) honours degree is that the subject of the degree is science. Yet in December 2006 the UK Universities and Colleges Admissions Service advertised 61 courses for complementary medicine, of which 45 are BSc honours degrees. Most complementary and alternative medicine (CAM) is not science because the vast majority of it is not based on empirical evidence. Homeopathy, for example, has barely changed since the beginning of the nineteenth century. It is much more like religion than science. Worse still, many of the doctrines of CAM, and quite a lot of its practitioners, are openly anti-science.
More recently, Louise Lubetkin wrote in her post ‘Quackademia‘ that alternative medicine and mainstream medicine are absolutely not equivalent, nor are they by any means interchangeable, and to speak about them the way one might when debating whether to take the bus or the subway to work – both will get you there reliably – constitutes an assault on truth.
I think ‘quackademia’ is most definitely an assault on truth – and I certainly know what I am talking about. When, in 1993, I was appointed as Professor of Complementary Medicine at Exeter, I became the director of a pre-existing team of apologists teaching a BSc-course in alternative medicine to evangelic believers. I was horrified and had to use skill, diplomacy and even money to divorce myself from this unit, an experience which I will not forget in a hurry. In fact, I am currently writing it up for a book I hope to publish soon which covers not only this story but many similarly bizarre encounters I had while researching alternative medicine during the last two decades.
Acupressure is a treatment-variation of acupuncture; instead of sticking needles into the skin, pressure is applied over ‘acupuncture points’ which is supposed to provide a stimulus similar to needling. Therefore the effects of both treatments should theoretically be similar.
Acupressure could have several advantages over acupuncture:
- it can be used for self-treatment
- it is suitable for people with needle-phobia
- it is painless
- it is not invasive
- it has less risks
- it could be cheaper
But is acupressure really effective? What do the trial data tell us? Our own systematic review concluded that the effectiveness of acupressure is currently not well documented for any condition. But now there is a new study which might change this negative verdict.
The primary objective of this 3-armed RCT was to assess the effectiveness and cost-effectiveness of self-acupressure using wristbands compared with sham acupressure wristbands and standard care alone in the management of chemotherapy-induced nausea. 500 patients from outpatient chemotherapy clinics in three regions in the UK involving 14 different cancer units/centres were randomised to the wristband arm, the sham wristband arm and the standard care only arm. Participants were chemotherapy-naive cancer patients receiving chemotherapy of low, moderate and high emetogenic risk. The experimental group were given acupressure wristbands pressing the P6 point (anterior surface of the forearm). The Rhodes Index for Nausea/Vomiting, the Multinational Association of Supportive Care in Cancer (MASCC) Antiemesis Tool and the Functional Assessment of Cancer Therapy General (FACT-G) served as outcome measures. At baseline, participants completed measures of anxiety/depression, nausea/vomiting expectation and expectations from using the wristbands.
Data were available for 361 participants for the primary outcome. The primary outcome analysis (nausea in cycle 1) revealed no statistically significant differences between the three arms. The median nausea experience in patients using wristbands (both real and sham ones) was somewhat lower than that in the anti-emetics only group (median nausea experience scores for the four cycles: standard care arm 1.43, 1.71, 1.14, 1.14; sham acupressure arm 0.57, 0.71, 0.71, 0.43; acupressure arm 1.00, 0.93, 0.43, 0). Women responded more favourably to the use of sham acupressure wristbands than men (odds ratio 0.35 for men and 2.02 for women in the sham acupressure group; 1.27 for men and 1.17 for women in the acupressure group). No significant differences were detected in relation to vomiting outcomes, anxiety and quality of life. Some transient adverse effects were reported, including tightness in the area of the wristbands, feeling uncomfortable when wearing them and minor swelling in the wristband area (n = 6). There were no statistically significant differences in the costs associated with the use of real acupressure band.
26 subjects took part in qualitative interviews. Participants perceived the wristbands (both real and sham) as effective and helpful in managing their nausea during chemotherapy.
The authors concluded that there were no statistically significant differences between the three arms in terms of nausea, vomiting and quality of life, although apparent resource use was less in both the real acupressure arm and the sham acupressure arm compared with standard care only; therefore; no clear conclusions can be drawn about the use of acupressure wristbands in the management of chemotherapy-related nausea and vomiting. However, the study provided encouraging evidence in relation to an improved nausea experience and some indications of possible cost savings to warrant further consideration of acupressure both in practice and in further clinical trials.
I could argue about several of the methodological details of this study. But I resist the temptation in order to focus on just one single point which I find important and which has implications beyond the realm of acupressure.
Why on earth do the authors conclude that no clear conclusions can be drawn about the use of acupressure wristbands in the management of chemotherapy-related nausea and vomiting? The stated aim of this RCT was to assess the effectiveness and cost-effectiveness of self-acupressure using wristbands compared with sham acupressure wristbands and standard care. The results failed to show significant differences of the primary outcome measures, consequently the conclusion cannot be “unclear”, it has to be that ACUPRESSURE WRIST BANDS ARE NOT MORE EFFECTIVE THAN SHAM ACUPRESSURE WRIST BANDS AS AN ADJUNCT TO ANTI-EMETIC DRUG TREATMENT (or something to that extent).
As long as RCTs of alternative therapies are run by evangelic believers in the respective therapy, we are bound to regularly encounter this lamentable phenomenon of white-washing negative findings with an inadequate conclusion. In my view, this is not research or science, it is pseudo-research or pseudo-science. And it is much more than a nuisance or a trivial matter; it is a waste of research funds, a waste of patients’ good will that has reached a point where people will lose trust in alternative medicine research. Someone should really do a systematic study to identify those research teams that regularly commit such scientific misconduct and ensure that they are cut off public funding and support.
I am delighted to report that my invitation to contribute AT FAPs was successful! Some readers did indeed cotton on and submitted their funny satire and bizarre absurdities – oddly enough, they are all homeopathic by nature. If you like to know more about the idea of AT FAPs, please see here. And do not forget: if you want me to continue with this feature, keep your alt med satire coming!
AT FAP No 4 (sent in by an anonymous reader)
You’ve heard or Gerson but now we can reveal Dyson therapy!
The well established and long-proven facts of homeopathy – that like cures like, ultra diluted solutions of nothing are incredibly potent medicines, Hahnemann can’t be wrong etc. have, of course revolutionised our world view. Nothing substantial had changed in homeopathy for 200 years, until now! Vacuous homeopaths have now discovered an amazing breakthrough- Dyson therapy. After extensive research one afternoon, they have made a breakthrough that will rock the world and clean your carpet.
Some homeopaths believe that ultra diluted water contains silica that is remarkably similar to that found in the glass vessels it is prepared in. Vacuous homeopaths have found a way to reduce the content of the water still further, indeed eliminate it completely!
Using the principle of like cures like, a material is chosen for its powerful homeopathic effects, and ground up in a small amount of water and/or alcohol until it turns into a paste or solution. Now here’s the science bit- it is then smeared on the floor. After being allowed to dry for precisely 3.4 minutes (trust us) it is then vacuumed up! This amazing breakthrough allows the nano-bollock essence of the material to be firmly trapped within the vacuum cleaner, but here is the genius part-as air is drawn over it the nano-bollock material is infinitely diluted. No need for complicated machines you can do this yourself at home. Vacuous homeopaths have found that the vacuum cleaner has to be tapped on the floor during the process, or for a far more potent effect on the head of a sceptic (we call this concussion). It has to be tapped a precise number of times, the number is decided by the current cost in pence of a avocado pear, this in scientific terms is known as the avocado number -trust us it works!
We now have a homeopathic remedy inside the cleaner. The patient takes a tube from the cleaner applies it to their mouth * and vacuums out all those nasty miasmas whilst simultaneously increasing the potency of the homeopathic preparation by yet further dilution. But that’s not all! Dyson therapy removes harmful mercury vapour from your fillings, this is truly miraculous.
Until now vacuous homeopaths have argued that homeopathy has no side effects effects. Sceptics have argued this is because it contains nothing does nothing and is worth nothing. Vacuous homeopaths have now found side effects, after all when you prepare the ultimate vacuum potencies we are dealing with the strongest medicine in the universe. Side effects include blisters of the lips and mouth, ruptured lungs and feelings of intense stupidity.
* Some experiments with Dyson therapy have been abandoned due to penile injury, but an exciting new avenue of research – anal Dyson therapy is being intensively studied, this combined with coffee enemas is an exciting new wake up call for homepathy. So far results have shown that homeopaths are full of shit.
Disclaimer: I do not own shares in Dyson, and am in no way associated with the company – Big Pharma wouldn’t let me. Other brands of vacuum cleaner are available.
AT FAP No5 (sent in by Norbert Aust)
German scientist succeeded in creating the ultimate homeopathic remedy: Vinum Christi C200! This remedy combines strong beliefs and ancient wisdom from christianity with the more recent scientific achievements of current homeopathy.
Details on the procedure are not clear yet, but the scientist (name known to the edotor) succeeded in building an entanglement with the the molecules of Our Lord’s last goblet of wine that today can be found in any glass of water. By banging his head on the wall he could successfully succuss just these molecules and could build a very powerful mother tincture. Further potentization yielded a very strong remedy, much more powerful than any of the current homeopathic alcoholic dilutions. It took only one tiny drop of this solution to turn a bottle of Scotch whisky into a very efficacious tincture outperforming any of our Lord’s wines or what you would expect of todays wines. In fact, the proving got a little out of control, but the effects could be witnessed nevertheless. It seems a perfect medicine for headaches, vertigo, nausea, general pain and feeling of being sick, difficulties in eye focus and speech, turns of general love and hate of the world in total. Many more symptoms expected to be found in further provings.
The scientist – after he recovered fronm the proving – made it a point, that the preparation of the mother tincture requires much experience and personality. The beginner might well end up entangled with the wrong molecules in his glass of water (like the donkey’s first pee after he carried our Lord to Jerusalem), which may lead to unpredictable results when proving the final compound.
Adress any inquiries for marketing of this medicine to the editor who will forward it to the scientist.
According to a recent comment by Dr Larry Dossey, sceptics are afflicted by “randomania,” “statisticalitis,” “coincidentitis,” or “ODD” (Obsessive Debunking Disorder). I thought his opinion was hilariously funny; it shows that this prominent apologist of alternative medicine who claims that he is deeply rooted in the scientific world has, in fact, understood next to nothing about the scientific method. Like all quacks who have run out of rational arguments, he resorts to primitive ad hominem attacks in order to defend his bizarre notions. It also suggests that he could do with a little scepticism himself, perhaps.
In case anyone wonders how the long-obsolete notions of vitalism, which Dossey promotes, not just survive but are becoming again wide-spread, they only need to look into the best-selling books of Dossey and other vitalists. And it is not just lay people, the target audience of such books, who are taken by such nonsense. Health care professionals are by no means immune to these remnants from the prescientific era.
A recent survey is a good case in point. It was aimed at exploring US student pharmacists’ attitudes toward complementary and alternative medicine (CAM) and examine factors shaping students’ attitudes. In total, 887 student pharmacists in 10 U.S. colleges/schools of pharmacy took part. Student pharmacists’ attitudes regarding CAM were quantified using the attitudes toward CAM scale (15 items), attitudes toward specific CAM therapies (13 items), influence of factors (e.g., coursework, personal experience) on attitudes (18 items), and demographic characteristics (15 items).
The results show a mean (±SD) score on the attitudes toward CAM scale of 52.57 ± 7.65 (of a possible 75; higher score indicated more favorable attitudes). There were strong indications that students agreed with the concepts of vitalism. When asked about specific CAMs, many students revealed positive views even on the least plausible and least evidence-based modalities like homeopathy or Reiki.
Unsurprisingly, students agreed that a patient’s health beliefs should be integrated in the patient care process and that knowledge about CAM would be required in future pharmacy practice. Scores on the attitudes toward CAM scale varied by gender, race/ethnicity, type of institution, previous CAM coursework, and previous CAM use. Personal experience, pharmacy education, and family background were important factors shaping students’ attitudes.
The authors concluded: Student pharmacists hold generally favorable views of CAM, and both personal and educational factors shape their views. These results provide insight into factors shaping future pharmacists’ perceptions of CAM. Additional research is needed to examine how attitudes influence future pharmacists’ confidence and willingness to talk to patients about CAM.
I find the overwhelmingly positive views of pharmacists on even over quackery quite troubling. One of the few critical pharmacists shares my worries and commented that this survey on CAM attitudes paints a concerning portrait of American pharmacy students. However, limitations in the survey process may have created biases that could have exaggerated the overall perspective presented. More concerning than the results themselves are the researchers’ interpretation of this data: Critical and negative perspectives on CAM seem to be viewed as problematic, rather than positive examples of good critical thinking.
One lesson from surveys like these is they illustrate the educational goals of CAM proponents. Just like “integrative” medicine that is making its ways into academic hospital settings, CAM education on campus is another tactic that is being used by proponents to shape health professional attitudes and perspectives early in their careers. The objective is obvious: normalize pseudoscience with students, and watch it become embedded into pharmacy practice.
Is this going to change? Unless there is a deliberate and explicit attempt to call out and push back against the degradation of academic and scientific standards created by existing forms of CAM education and “integrative medicine” programs, we should expect to see a growing normalizing of pseudoscience in health professions like pharmacy.
I have criticised pharmacists’ attitude and behaviour towards alternative medicine more often than I care to remember. I even contributed an entire series of articles (around 10; I forgot the precise number) to THE PHARMACEUTICAL JOURNAL in an attempt to stimulate their abilities to think critically about alternative medicine. Pharmacists could certainly do with a high dose of “randomania,” “statisticalitis,” “coincidentitis,” or “ODD” (Obsessive Debunking Disorder). In particular, pharmacists who sell bogus remedies, i.e. virtually all retail pharmacists, need to remember that
- they are breaking their own ethical code
- they are putting profit before responsible health care
- by selling bogus products, they give credibility to quackery
- they are risking their reputation as professionals who provide evidence-based advice to the public
- they might seriously endanger the health of many of their customers
In discussions about these issues, pharmacists usually defend themselves and argue that
- those working in retail chains cannot do anything about this situation; head office decides what is sold on their premises and what not
- many medicinal products we sell are as bogus as the alternative medicines in question
- other health care professions are also not perfect, blameless or free of fault and error
- many pharmacists, particularly those not working in retail, are aware of this lamentable situation but cannot do anything about it
- retail pharmacists are both shopkeepers and health care professionals and are trying their very best to cope with this difficult dual role
- we usually appreciate your work and critical comments but, in this case, you are talking nonsense
I do not agree with any of these arguments. Of course, each single individual pharmacist is fairly powerless when it comes to changing the system (but nobody forces anyone to work in a chain that breaks the ethical code of their profession). Yet pharmacists have their professional organisations, and it is up to each individual pharmacist to exert influence, if necessary pressure, via their professional bodies and representatives, such that eventually the system changes. In all this distasteful mess, only one thing seems certain: without a groundswell of opinion from pharmacists, nothing will happen simply because too many pharmacists are doing very nicely with fooling their customers into buying expensive rubbish.
And when eventually something does happen, it will almost certainly be a slow and long process until quackery has been fully expelled from retail pharmacies. My big concern is not so much the slowness of the process but the fact that, currently, I see virtually no groundswell of opinion that might produce anything. For the foreseeable future pharmacists seem to have decided to be content with a role as shopkeepers who do not sufficiently care about healthcare-ethics to change the status quo.
I woke up the other morning and thought that this blog might be in need of a bit of interactive fun. All these long discussions about evidence, science claims and counter-claims are important, of course, but they can be a bit tedious at times. Often the quality of the evidence, the audacity of the bogus claims and the idiocy of the discussions are such that spontaneously I don’t know whether to laugh or to cry. On reflection, however, it must be better to laugh and to make fun. Therefore I have decided to try out this new feature and, with my readers’ help, it might become a regular distraction.
The only thing you can do wrong with ‘ALTERNATIVE TRUTHS FROM ANOTHER PLANET’ is to take them seriously. Nothing that I intend to publish here has all that much to do with reality (just like alternative medicine, you might say).
My hope is that readers of this blog cotton on to the idea and send me their own AT FAPs via email. I will consider publishing anything that is short, funny, inoffensive and somehow related to alternative medicine. Please do send me your bizarre ideas, odd dreams, worst nightmares, absurd pranks, childish hoaxes etc. To get the ball rolling, I try three little AT FAPs below.
AT FAP No 1
DUTCHY ORIGINALS SET TO BECOME MAJOR PLAYER IN THE CAR INDUSTRY
Prince Charles has announced today that his firm ‘Dutchy Originals’ is venturing into the automobile industry. Engineers from his ‘Foundation for Integrated Technology’ have succeeded in developing a car that works entirely on homeopathic principles. “It is all very simple” the Prince explained “normal petrol gets diluted and succussed until it has reached the right potency. Our modified combustion engine has been adapted such that it runs on the homeopathic petrol”. The Dutchy Originals Homeobil 1 (DOH1), as the first model is to be called, will be available for sale later this year. Experts expect it will be a worldwide success, not least because it will do ~1000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 to one millionth of a gallon of petrol. “It’ll be good for the planet” Clarence House stated.
AT FAP No 2
ALTERNATIVE PRACTITIONER FOUND GUILTY OF MURDER
The jury did not have to deliberate for longer than an hour; the case could not have been more clear-cut, even though the defendant, Martin W., never actually admitted his guilt. He did, however, state disliking his mother in law and threatening her on numerous occasions. The court heard how Martin W. had trained as a Feng Shui expert and, once he had mastered the skill of furniture-rearranging to a sufficiently high degree of sophistication, had deliberately moved several items of furniture in her Clapham flat. As a consequence, her chi-energy had violently collided with the dimensions more powerful cosmic chi. Apparently the mother in law’s death was instantaneous. In his defence, Martin W. had claimed that he had moved the couch and the mirror simply on aesthetic grounds. But the prosecutions’ expert witness and president of the ‘International Association of Feng Shui and Chi Consultants’ supplied scientific evidence showing that the furniture arrangement was a classic case of death by an excess of kidney-chi. Martin W. is expected to receive a life-sentence.
AT FAP No 3
BREAKTHROUGH IN ACUPUNCTURE RESEARCH
Chinese researchers from the ‘Institute for Advanced Meridian Studies’ in Beijing have solved a puzzle that had baffled TCM-researchers and hindered progress for centuries. Acupuncturists believe life-energy runs in minute channels throughout the body; they call them MERIDIANS. But there was a significant problem: nobody had ever shown that MERIDIANS actually exist and where exactly they are located. Now Prof X Chen et al have published a paper in the highly reputed science journal ‘Advances in Meridian Studies’ (Editor in chief: Prof X Chen) which seems to solve this problem once and for all. In the lengthy article, the researchers describe their recent visit to the US which took them through Alabama and Mississippi. “And there it was”, they write, “right in front of our eyes”. It turns out that MERIDIAN is a city of eastern Mississippi near the Alabama border, east of Jackson. “Of course, this is only one and we need more”, said the exited Chen to our reporter, “but this was just a ‘proof of principle study’, and we very much expect to find further MERIDIANS in a parallel universe.
A recent article by a South African homeopath promoted the concept of homeopaths taking over the role of primary care practitioners. His argument essentially was that, in South Africa, homeopaths are well trained and thus adequately equipped to do this job responsibly. Responsibly, really? You find that hard to believe? Here are the essentials of his arguments including all his references in full. I think they are worth reading.
Currently, the Durban University of Technology (DUT) and the University of Johannesburg (UJ) offer degree’s in homoeopathy. This involves a 5-year full-time theoretical and practical training course, followed by a Master’s level research project. After fulfilment of these criteria, a Master’s Degree in Technology (Homoeopathy) is awarded. The course comprises of a strong core of medical subjects, such as the basic sciences of Anatomy, Physiology, Medical Microbiology, Biochemistry and Epidemiology, and the clinical sciences of Pathology and Diagnostics. This is complemented with subjects in Classical, Clinical and Modern Homoeopathy and Homoeopharmaceutics4,5…
By law, any person practicing homoeopathy in South Africa must be registered with the Allied Health Professions Council of South Africa (AHPCSA). This is essential, as the Council ensures both medical and homoeopathic competency of practitioners, and that the activities of registered practitioners are closely monitored by the Professional Board. The purpose of the AHPCSA is to ensure that only those with legitimate qualifications of a high enough standard are registered and allowed to practice in South Africa, thus protecting the public against any fraudulent behaviour and illegal practitioners. Therefore, in order to ensure effective homoeopathic treatment, it is essential that any person wishing to prescribe homoeopathic medicine or practice homoeopathy in South Africa must be registered as a Homoeopathic Practitioner with the Allied Health Professions Council of South Africa. This includes conventional Medical Practitioners (dual registration is allowed for Medical Practitioners with both the Health Professions Council and AHPCSA)6, as homoeopathy requires several years of training in order to apply effectively in clinical practice…
Registration with the Council affords medico-legal rights similar to those of a medical professional, where treatment is limited to the scope of homoeopathic practice. Thus a homoeopath is firstly a trained diagnostician, and with successful registration with the Council, obtains the title Doctor. A homoeopath is trained and legally obliged to conduct a full medical history, a comprehensive clinical examination, and request further medical investigations, such as blood tests and X-rays, in order to fully assess patients. This is coupled with the ability to consult with specialist pathologists and other medical specialists when necessary, and refer a patient to the appropriate practitioner if the condition falls outside the scope of homoeopathic practice. A homoeopath may also legally issue a certificate of dispensation (‘Doctor’s note’) with appropriate evidence and within reason, and is deemed responsible for the diagnosis and treatment of patients under their care6. A homoeopath is not trained or licensed in any form of surgery, specialist diagnostics (e.g. colonoscopy or angiograms), cannot prescribe prescription medication and is not lawfully allowed to conduct intra-venous treatment of any kind. However, a registered homoeopath is licensed to use intra-muscular homoeopathic injectables in the treatment of various local or systemic complaints when necessary.
Conventional (allopathic) medicine generally targets specific biochemical processes with mostly chemically synthesised medication, in an attempt to suppress a symptom. However, in doing so, this usually negatively affects other biochemical reactions which results in an imbalance within the system. Homoeopathy, by contrast, seeks to re-establish a balance within the natural functioning of the body, restore proper function and results in the reduction or cessation of symptoms. Homoeopathy therefore enables the body to self-regulate and self-heal, a process known as homeostasis that is intrinsic to every living organism.
Conventional medical treatment is by no means risk free. Iatrogenic (medically induced) deaths in the United States are estimated at 786 000 per year, deaths which are considered avoidable by medical doctors7,8. These figures put annual iatrogenic death in the American medical system above that of cardiovascular disease and cancer as the leading cause of death in that country9, a fact that is not widely reported! South African figures are not easily available, but it is likely that we have similar rates. Although conventional medications have a vital role, are sometimes necessary and can of-course be life-saving, all too often too many patients are put on chronic medication when there are numerous effective, natural, safe and scientifically substantiated options available….
According to the World Health Organisation (WHO), homeopathy is the second largest system of medicine in the world, and world-wide use continues to grow in developed and developing nations10. Homoeopathy is widely considered to be safe and effective, with both clinical and laboratory research providing evidence for the efficacy of homoeopathy11. As the range of potential conditions that homoeopathy can treat is almost limitless, and that treatment is not associated with adverse reactions, homoeopathy should be considered a first-line therapy for all ages. As homoeopaths in South Africa are considered primary health care practitioners, if a conventional approach is deemed necessary, and further diagnostics are required, your practitioner will not hesitate to refer you to the appropriate health care practitioner. Homeopathy is also used alongside conventional medicine and any other form of therapy, and should be seen as ‘complementary’ medicine and not ‘alternative’ medicine.
Homoeopathy is an approach that is widely considered to be safe, and when utilised correctly, can be effective for a wide range of conditions. As a primary health care practitioner, a homoeopath is able to handle all aspects of general practice and family health care, including diagnostics, case management and referral to other practitioners or medical specialists. A registered homoeopath is legally responsible to ensure the adequate treatment of their patients, and is accountable for all clinical decisions and advice. A registered homoeopath understands the role of conventional medicine, and will refer to the appropriate specialist in cases that fall outside the legal scope of practice.
1. http://homeopathyresource.wordpress.com/what-is-homeopathy (accessed 31 March 2010)
2. Bloch R, Lewis B. Homoeopathy for the home. Cape Town, South Africa: Struik Publishers: 2003
3. http://www.dut.ac.za/site/awdep.asp?depnum=22609 (accessed 1 April 2010)
4. http://dutweb.dut.ac.za/handbooks/HEALTH%20Homoeopathy.pdf (accessed 1 April 2010)
5. http://www.uj.ac.za/EN/Faculties/health/departments/homeopathy/coursesandprogrammes/undergraduate/Pages/default.aspx (accessed 1 April 2010)
6. http://www.ahpcsa.co.za/pb_pbhnp_homoeopathy.htm (accessed 6 April 2010)
7. Starfield, B. Is US Health Really the Best in the World? JAMA 2000; 284(4).
8. Null G, Dean C, et al. Death by Medicine. Nutrition Institute of America 2003. 9. http://www4.dr-rath-foundation.org/features/death_by_medicine.html (accessed 7 April 2010)
10. http://ukiahcommunityblog.wordpress.com/2010/03/04/worldwide-popularity-grows-for-homeopathy-alternative-medicine/#comments (accessed 7 April 2010)
11. http://liga.iwmh.net/dokumente/upload/556c7_SCIEN_FRA_2009_final_approved.pdf (accessed 7 April 2010)
I found this article extremely revealing and scary. It gives us an important glimpse into the way some or perhaps even most homeopaths think. They clearly believe that:
1) Their training is sufficient for them to become competent primary care professionals, i.e. clinicians who are the first port of call for sick people to be diagnosed and treated effectively.
2) Homeopathy is scientifically proven to be efficacious for an ‘almost limitless’ range of conditions. Interestingly, not a single reference is provided to support this claim. Nevertheless, homeopath believe it, and that seems to be enough.
3) Homeopaths seem convinced that they perfectly understand real medicine; yet all they really do is to denounce it as one of the biggest killer of mankind.
4) The fact that homeopaths cannot prescribe real medicine is not seen as a hindrance to their role as primary care practitioner; if anything, homeopaths consider this to be an advantage.
5) Homeopaths view registration with some sort of governing body as the ultimate legitimation of their trade. Once such regulatory measures are in place, the need to support any of their claims with evidence is nil and void.
This article did remind me of the wry statement that ‘HOMEOPATHY IS TO MEDICINE WHAT THE CARPET INDUSTRY IS TO AVIATION’. Homeopaths truly live on a different planet, a planet where belief is everything and responsibility is an alien concept. I certainly hope that they will not take over planet earth in a hurry. If I imagine a world where homeopaths dominate primary care in the way it is suggested in this article, I start having nightmares. It seems to me that people who harbour ideas of this type are not just deluded to the point of madness but they are a danger to public health.