Every now and then, I like to look at what our good friend and SCAM entrepreneur Gwyneth Paltrow is offering via her extraordinary ripoff called GOOP. When I recently browsed through her goodies, I find lots of items that made me blush (common decency does not permit me to go into details here). But I also found something that I am sure many of us might need after the over-indulgence of recent weeks:Preview Changes (opens in a new tab)
“The Martini” Emotional Detox Bath Soak
The product is described as follows:
This body-and-spirit-centering bath soak, infused with Himalayan pink salt, helps take the edge off during turbulent times (or after a crazy day). Called “The Martini” after the traditional name for the last take of the day in filmmaking, the soak is made with pharmaceutical-grade Epsom salts, chia-seed oil, passionflower, valerian root, myrrh, Australian sandalwood, and wild-crafted frankincense.
Here at goop we believe in making every choice count, which is why we’ve always been outspoken about the toxic ingredients used in personal-care and beauty products (all are effectively unregulated in this country). We’re also passionate about the idea that beauty comes from the inside out. So we use clinically proven and best-in-class ingredients at active levels to create skin care, skin-boosting ingestibles, and body essentials that are luxurious, deliver high-performance results, and enliven the senses with exquisite textures and beautiful scents. We don’t rest until we think our products are perfect—safe enough and powerful enough for noticeable results. (All our products are formulated without parabens, petroleum, phthalates, SLS, SLES, PEGs, TEA, DEA, silicones, or artificial dyes or fragrances. And our formulas are not tested on animals.) We hope you love them as much as we do.
Yes, there is a whole world out there of which a retired chap like myself knows as good as nothing. And it has its very own terminology: 
- emotional detox
- body-and-spirit-centering
- pharmaceutical-grade Epsom salts
- wild-crafted
- clinically proven and best-in-class ingredients
- skin-boosting ingestibles
- body essentials
- high-performance results
By now, I am sure, you are dying to learn what the Emotional Detox Bath Soak contains:
Sodium Chloride, Magnesium Sulfate, Passiflora Incarnata Extract, Valeriana Officinalis Root Extract, Salvia Hispanica Seed Oil, Helianthus Annuus (Sunflower) Seed Oil, Rosmarinus Officinalis (Rosemary), Leaf Extract, Maltodextrin, Boswellia Carterii Oil, Commiphora Myrrha Oil, Fusanus Spicatus Wood Oil, Cyperus Scariosus (Nagarmotha) Oil, Vetiveria Zizanoides Root Oil, Simmondsia Chinensis (Jojoba) Seed Oil, Tocopherol.
Clinically proven, you ask?
Well, perhaps not in the sense that sad, retired academics tend to understand the term, but you have to realize, this is a different world where words have different meanings, the meaning entretreneurs want them to have. What is proven though is this: at $40 a tiny jar, the detox bath will eliminate some cash from your pocket – after all, that’s what detox is all about, isn’t it?
14 Responses to Time for Gwyneth Paltrow’s ‘Emotional Detox Bath Soak’
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Who manufactures these bath salts for Ms Paltrow, I wonder. And who formulates them.
Sports personalities and others have “ghost writers” who write their autobiographies, so I guess Ms. Paltrow must have a “ghost pharmacist” somewhere…..
You are probably right; one does not need to be bright to do that but Gwyneth? No!
Anyway, I though we were not supposed to have baths anymore, just showers, a) because we can’t afford to heat that amount of water at today’s energy prices and b) to save the planet by saving energy.
Baths? Where are Ms. Paltrow’s planet-saving credentials!
https://www.creatosaurus.io/apps/quotes/they-always-gives-me-bath-quote-by-terry-pratchett-6120a58d58f3326cc6d08016
Haven’t you heard? Gwinny has moved on from just drinking her own urine – she saves it up and bathes in it, after adding her magic salts of course. She’s asking her followers to contribute too.
All very sustainable.
All that urea is doubtless good for the skin….
Anyway, it’s about time the UK’s Advertising Standards Authority banned the use of the term “detox” unless the advertiser names at least one toxin and can reliably demonstrate its reduction or elimination by the treatment they are advertising.
I agree
Agree 100%
It’s called ‘integrity’ and ‘honesty’.
Any chance of approaching ASA on this?
Could HealthWatch UK take up this proposal?
Any chance of approaching ASA on this? Feel free to do it.
Could HealthWatch UK take up this proposal? No sure.
Hm, her ‘Gut Microbiome Superpowder’ also raises some eyebrows, with ‘powder’ having a rather, erm, ‘explosive’ connotation …
The more expensive a supposedly health-promoting product is, the more willing the gullible are to spend a lot of money on it. Perhaps Gwyneth Paltrow should have charged even more than $40.
@RPGNo1
Yep, this is also what psychologist Robert Cialdini found. In his bestselling book Influence, he mentions an example whereby a woman running a tourist shop failed to sell a collection of turquoise gemstones which were priced quite reasonably. At long last, she told her shop staff to put it up for 1/2 price just to get rid of them. However, the staff misinterpreted her note, and in fact doubled the price – after which they all of a sudden sold like hot cakes.
The same applies to most pseudoscientific rubbish such as ‘anti-radiation’ devices. No-one wouldn’t touch it if they were offered for, say, twice the production cost (usually a couple of bucks) – but with a price tag between $50 and $200 (which appears to be the sweet spot), these things appear to sell just fine.
My personal favorite: An Akasha Pillar for 1955 €.
Total height: approx. 80 cm
Weight: 17kg
Orgonite base: 18 cm Height 20 cm Width
Base made of synthetic resin, precious stones and metals in elaborate multilayer process.
Orgonite center: 47cm long and 5cm wide, filled with rock crystal tips
Pyramid tip: 16cm edge length, 11cm height, lemurian crystal at the peak