You have to admit, quacks had a difficult time recently:
- homeopathy has been disclosed as humbug,
- chiropractic is not much better,
- ‘acupuncture awareness week’ left acupuncturists bruised…
Need I go on?
One has to pity these guys; their income is dwindling; they have no pensions, no unions to protect them etc., they know nothing other than quackery…what can they do? They are clearly fighting for survival.
I suggest we all focus, use our imagination and come up with come constructive ideas to help them.
Alright, I start: HOLISTIC DOPING
The fate of the poor (not in a monetary sense, of course) tennis star Sharapova gave me that brainwave.
Our elite athletes are in a pickle: they feel the need to enhance their performance but more and more ways of achieving this with cleverly administered drugs are becoming illegal. Their livelihood is at stake almost as much as that of our dear quacks.
What if the two groups jointed forces?
What if they decided to help solve each others’ problems?
This could be a classical win/win situation!
I am sure homeopaths, chiropractors, acupuncturists etc. could design holistic program for improving athletic performance. It would be highly individualised and embrace body, mind, spirit, sole and anything else they can think of. It could include the newest concepts in quantum healing, energy field, qi, vital force, etc. The advantages are obvious, I think:
- none of these interventions will ever be found on a list of forbidden drugs,
- the program will work perfectly well because it will generate large placebo responses,
- performance will therefore increase (as always in alternative medicine, anecdotal ‘evidence’ will suffice) ,
- and so will the quacks’ cash flow.
Is there a downside? Not really…oh, hold on…yes there is!
My idea is not that original; others have had it already. In fact, there are quite a few quacks offering alternatives to good old-fashioned doping.
THAT’S THE AWFUL THING ABOUT QUACKERY: ALL THE GOOD IDEAS TURN OUT TO BE ALREADY TAKEN!