On the last day of the year, is time to contemplate the achievements and failures of the past 12 months and think about the future. For me, it is also the moment to once again place my tongue in my cheek, empathise with my opponents and think of what they might hope for in the coming year.
Here is a brief yet somewhat ambitious expose of what I came up with: the charlatan’s wish list for 2013.
1 Let the Daily Mail and similar publications continue to promote uncritical thinking and bogus claims for alternative medicine.
2 Make sure that politicians remain blissfully ignorant of all matters related to science.
3 Let the anecdote continue to reign over evidence, for instance, in the popular press.
4 Regulate alternative practitioners such that they benefit from the added status without any obligation to abide by the generally accepted rules of evidence-based practice.
5 Prevent the closure of more homeopathic hospitals.
6 Ensure that the public continues to be mislead about nonsensical scams such as “integrated medicine”.
7 Increase the influence of Prince Charles in the realm of health care.
8 Give Royal status to the ‘College of Medicine’.
9 Appoint Dr Michael Dixon, chair of the ‘NHS-Alliance’ and the above-named “college”, as advisor to the government.
10 Introduce more post-modern thinking into health care; after all, there is more than one way of knowing!
11 Defame all those terrible sceptics who always doubt our claims.
12 Cherish double standards in medicine; they are essential for our survival!
13 Make sure researchers of alternative medicine use science not for testing but for proving the value of alternative therapies.
14 Continue to allow promotion of alternative medicine to masquerade as research.
15 Ensure that all our celebrity clients tell every journalist how young they look thanks to alternative medicine.
16 Let ‘Duchy’s Original detox Tincture’ become a financial success – Charles needs the added income for promoting quackery.
17 Open more woo-institutes in academia to spread the gospel of belief-based medicine.
18 Prevent anyone from finding out that many of us break even the most fundamental rules of medical ethics in our daily practice.
I am aware that the list is probably not nearly complete, and I invite everyone to add items of importance. Happy New Year!