MD, PhD, FMedSci, FRSB, FRCP, FRCPEd

satire

The UK ACUPPUNCTURE RESEARCH RESOURCE CENTRE (ARRC) is a specialist resource for acupuncture research information; the only such resource in the land. It is funded by the British Acupuncture Council (BAcC) and was established in 1994 by the BAcC in partnership with the Foundation for Research in Traditional Chinese Medicine.

The ARRC organise an annual meeting. This year’s meeting is special because it is their 20th! It is scheduled to take place in London on 17th March. In case you are already busy that day, or you want to save the £120 registration fee, I have copied for you the programme below and am even able to inform you about the content of each lecture.

  1. Hugh MacPherson – Celebrating twenty years of acupuncture research
  2. Lee Hullender Rubin  – The Impact of Whole Systems Traditional Chinese Medicine on In Vitro Fertilization Outcomes – A Retrospective Cohort Study
  3. Robert Davis – Beyond Efficacy: Conducting and translating research for policy-makers considering acupuncture reimbursement in a small, rural US state
  4. Lee Hullender Rubin – Acupuncture Augmentation of Lidocaine Treatment of Provoked, localized Vulvodynia – a Feasability and Acceptability Pilot Study
  5. Florian Beissner – A TCM-based psychotherapy with acupuncture for endometriosis
  6. Beverley De Valois – Using moxa on St 36 to reduce chemotherapy-induced pancytopenia: a feasibility study
  7. Ian Appleyard – Warm needle acupuncture for osteoarthritis of the knee: a pilot study
  8. Ed Fraser – Stand Easy: An Evaluation of the acceptability and effectiveness of acupuncture as a treatment for post-traumatic stress disorder for veterans in Norfolk

Having attended plenty of such meetings in my time, I can give you a fairly good idea about the contents of the 8 lectures. Below, I provide succinct (and slightly satirical) summaries of what the presenters will tell their audience on the 17th:

  1. Despite difficult circumstances, we (the ARRC) have done very well indeed. We managed to publish lots of papers, and we made sure that not a single one reported a negative result. That would be bad for business. We are optimistic about the future provided we get some funding, of course.
  2. Whole Systems Traditional Chinese Medicine has a profoundly positive effect on the outcomes of In Vitro fertilization. We are totally balled over! Only the most pedantic sceptics would have reservations and might argue that the study had no controls and was retrospective. But who cares, we believe in positive results, and therefore, we never listen to criticism.
  3. Because efficacy is a sticky issue in the realm of acupuncture, it is much wiser to tackle policy makers by persuading them that they can save money (lots of it), if they implement the abundant use of acupuncture. The evidence for this notion is flimsy to say the least, but policy makers do not understand the science (and neither do we).
  4. Our study showed that Acupuncture Augmentation of Lidocaine Treatment is extremely good for vulvodynia. We are very impressed, over the moon even. Of course, this was a feasibility study and we should really only conclude that a full study may be feasible, but let’s not be nit-picking.
  5. Based on my very extensive experience, I am able to confirm that TCM-based psychotherapy with acupuncture is an excellent therapy for endometriosis. Rigorous, controlled clinical trials do not exist, but my findings are so clear that, quite honestly, we do not need them.
  6. Using moxa on St 36 to reduce chemotherapy-induced pancytopenia is feasible. Isn’t that lovely?
  7. My trial of warm needle acupuncture for osteoarthritis of the knee showed most encouraging results. Of course, this was only a pilot study, and from it we should really only conclude that a proper study may be feasible, but let’s not be holier than thou!
  8. Our results demonstrate that acupuncture as a treatment for post-traumatic stress disorder is amazingly effective. A breakthrough! What is more, veterans found it most acceptable. The study is not rigorous, but I don’t mind. I advocate this treatment to be rolled out nationally as a matter of urgency.

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So, there you are; that’s all you need to know about the 20th annual meeting of the ARRC.

You don’t need to go.

I have thus saved you £120!

No, I don’t expect thanks – I prefer, if you would send half of this amount (£60) to my account.

 

A friend recently sent me the link to a video about ‘FUNCTIONAL CRANIAL RELEASE’ (well-worth watching, particularly, if you need cheering up) and when I heard a patient after the treatment exclaim: “kind’a like an orgasm”, I needed no further convincing; I just had to look into this extraordinary and little-known jewel of an alternative therapy.

If you watched the video, you might think FCR is simply pumping some air up your nostrils, but you are wrong: it is much more, and it is very scientific!

Functional Cranial Release (FCR) is the art and science of restoring normal brain and nervous system function by using Functional Neurology along with NeuroCranial Restructuring to improve the brain’s ability to function better. FCR was created by Dr. John Lieurance who currently practices in Sarasota, Florida. Dr Timothy Lim was personally trained by Dr John Lieurance and now offers FCR or Functional Cranial Release in Singapore. We have clients who fly in from all over the South East Asia and Oceania regions just to receive FCR treatment.

Functional Cranial Release‘s (FCR) unique system improves the body’s function in the following ways:

  1. Restores the brain’s ability to oxygenate itself through both improving air flow through the nasal passage and also the normal pumping action inherent in cranial rhythm that moves nutrients such as oxygen and neurotransmitters that bath the central nervous system keeping it healthy.
  2. Utilizes neurological testing to determine which pathways and brain centers are either firing too much or too little by testing the following; Examination of your eye’s movements and reflexes, your muscles or motor system, the autonomic nervous system, your circulation, your sensory system, the vestibular system (or) your ability to balance [repeatedly using a computerized balance platform]. Adjusting those pathways through the specific use of various modalities including one or more of the following; Very Specific Chiropractic Adjustments of the spine, extremities, and cranium, Soft Tissue or Massage, Eye Pattern & Eye Exercises,  Canalith Repositioning (or) Eply’s, Vestibular Rehabilitative Modalities or VRT, and many others too numerous to list. The modalities used depend on the specific needs of each patient.
  3. A series of Cranial Releases are performed where the connective tissues that surround your brain and spinal cord called the Dura Mater are specifically released using endonasal balloon inflations. This is done in combination with the above mentioned functional neurologic modalities to provide the therapeutic effect to balance and normalize brain function. This normalization results in healing.

I bet you now wonder who this fabulous doctor Lieurance is. Wonder no more; he describes himself very well here:

Dr. John Lieurance, is a Naturopathic & Chiropractic Physician who has been in private practice in Sarasota for 20 years. He works at Advanced Rejuvenation, a multi-disciplinary clinic, with a focus on Chiropractic Functional Neurology, Functional Cranial Release (FCR), and musculoskeletal ultrasound.

It is easy to see that he is a real doctor, just look at his white coat and stethoscope!

And this website provides more valuable information about FCR:

Is FCR a Chiropractic adjustment ? Yes,  FCR falls under the scope of Chiropractic care and is billed as a Chiropractic adjustment.  If you are covered for Chiropractic care under your health insurance plan, then your FCR procedure will also be covered.

But what makes FCR so very attractive is that the list of conditions for which it is recommended is impressive and long; it even includes serious diseases such as Parkinson’s and stroke …

and don’t forget: ORGASM!!!

It is not often that I come across an alternative therapy that I have never before heard of. And when I do, I am naturally interested. Emunctorology is such a term – even my spell-check flags it up as a misprint, but trust me, it isn’t.

The term, my dictionary tells me, comes from the Latin emungere = to wipe clean (mungere = to wipe). Emunctory, the dictionary further informs me, relates to a body organ having an excretory function. It follows, that emunctorology is the science of the excretory functions of the body.

That does not mean it is an alternative therapeutic approach, I hear you say.

True, but we all know how inventive alternative practitioners can be.

This article explains (brace yourself for some comic relief):

START OF QUOTE

The emunctories are described as organs of elimination that support the process of detoxification. There are 5 major emunctories:

  1. Liver
  2. Lung
  3. Gastrointestinal tract – small and large intestine
  4. Kidneys / urinary tract
  5. Skin

The science of detoxification, Emunctorology, teaches us the language to understand and manage this process of detoxification.

The process of detoxification can be divided into two aspects:

  • Depuration: the purification of tissues that begins at the cellular level; includes the purification of fluids, organs, membranes, fatty tissue, etc. This aspect involves the packaging and the shipping of toxins, morbid matter, or ama to the emunctories, organs of elimination.
  • Drainage: the efficient elimination of toxins from their location in the emunctories. This is the final step to remove the burden of disease causing agents from the body. Healthy drainage is a constant need to maintain a disease-free body.

Depuration: Packaging and shipping toxins for elimination

If we think about the familiar process of digestion: it involves digestion of food, separation of nutrition from waste, and elimination of waste. The digestive process that occurs in the intestines is the gross depuration process that is easy to observe. It is a very good indicator of overall health and resilience.

Beyond the intestines, nutrition is again digested in the liver: which is a producer of cholesterols, glycogen, as well as a security gateway for chemical toxins. Beyond the liver, each cell in the body has a cellular digestive system; which harvests energy, repairs the cells, and eliminates toxic waste. Healthy digestive function at the intestinal, liver, and cellular levels ensures efficient regeneration tissue and efficient elimination of waste; the process of depuration.

The toxins, ama or morbid matter in our body come from two pathways: 1) Endogenous, naturally produced waste from the body’s metabolic processes, like reactive oxygen species that cause oxidative damage, feces, urine, etc.; 2) Exogenous, all toxic substances that we get from our environment, food, and emotional influences. When the process of elimination of toxins is overwhelmed, toxins are “hidden away” in the body to protect vital organs like the brain.

These toxins are primarily hidden in fat cells (adipose tissue) of the body. Depending on available space and preference, toxins also become stored in bones, muscles, connective tissue, and even the myelin sheaths that wrap around nerves. From their location in these tissues, toxins begin to block or modify normal physiological functions.

For an effective depuration process, elimination of toxins from all of these tissues is essential.

Drainage: Elimination of toxins from the body

The process of elimination also occurs at cellular and whole-body level. The main organs of eliminations, emunctories are main external outlets of the waste products. Cellular and physiological processes are subtle, yet equally important for bringing toxins to the emunctories for elimination. So the complete process of drainage requires elimination of waste at cellular level and elimination of waste out of the emunctories.

Accumulation of toxins at the emunctories, without proper elimination can also cause many problems. For example: 1) Cigarette smoke, mold, bacteria, microbial toxins are all exogenous toxins for the lung – prolonged exposure to these leads to chronic lung inflammation. 2) Presence of heavy metals and other toxins can cause abnormal folding a proteins – a problem that is implicated in causing neurodegenerative diseases like Alzheimer’s disease, Parkinson’s disease, etc. 3) Reactive oxygen species are created as part of cellular energy building process; as well as a side-product of inflammation; excessive amount can cause damage to DNA, cell walls, nerves, etc.

Activation of Emunctories:

All emunctories, organs of elimination, are active at all times; constantly working to make ensure the best possible health and physiological balance. Their functions can be enhanced by targeted daily choices in activity, food, environment, and hydration. Here are some simple strategies for activation:

Lungs…

 

  1. Inhale through your nose, filling your lungs to full capacity.
  2. Hold the breath for 3 seconds, then slowly exhale through your mouth.
  3. Repeat this exercise 16 times, twice a day.

Liver/Pancreas…

 

  1. Eat 2-3 servings of green leafy vegetables daily.
  2. 2-3 servings of colorful seasonal vegetables.
  3. Eat 1-2 servings of seasonal fruits daily.

Gastrointestinal tract…

  1. Several servings of fresh fruits and vegetables daily (same used for liver detox) – provide fiber and probiotic gut bacteria for normal activity of the intestines promoting regular bowel movements.
  2. Eat regular fermented foods: Yogurt, kimchi, sauerkraut, sour cream, kefir, etc. this is nutrition for replenishing gut-bacteria.
  3. All adults should drink 6-8 glasses of water every day.

Kidney/urinary tract…

 

  1. Eliminate refined sugars from diet completely – 1-2 teaspoons of honey, daily is enough.
  2. Drink plenty of water: add lemon slices and/or mint leaves to alkalinize the water.
  3. Support probiotic intake: Yogurt, kimchi, sauerkraut, sour cream, kefir, as well as fresh fruits and vegetables, preferably home grown or picked up from farmers market; this is nutrition for replenishing gut-bacteria.

Skin…

 

  1. Sweat regularly:
    • 20-30 minutes of aerobic exercise, done 5 times per week;
    • Sweat in a sauna or steam room after exercise for 20-30mins.
  2. Skin brush: use skin brush to gently scrub off old, dead skin. Brushing towards the heart also helps to promote lymph flow; For example: start at the hand and brush towards the shoulder.
  3. Apply oil: perform self-massage with sesame oil for Vata dominant body type, coconut for Pitta and Olive oil for Kapha body types, 2-3 times per week; ideally 10 minutes before going in the sauna to sweat. The oil nourishes the skin and sweating helps to pull out fat-soluble toxins from skin layers.

Mind…

 

  1. Meditation is a way to help quiet the activity of the mind. Regular practice of about 20 minutes twice a day can help to clear the mind and reboot.
  2. Walking is a moderate level exercise that also gives an opportunity to rest the mind from being engaged in doing things. Regular walks in the natural settings like the woods, has been shown to improve mood, self-esteem, and even boost the immune system.
  3. Play time with family and friends: whether it is physical activity or creative projects – play time is an ideal way giving the mind a break from the daily grind.
  4. Sleep: 7-8 hours of sleep every night between the hours of 10pm-6am. This helps to align the hormonal activity in the body and the mind with circadian rhythm, the day-night cycle of nature.
  5. Infusing these simple activities into your daily and weekly routines can help to optimize your natural capacity for detoxification. This helps to sustain a good baseline of cleanliness for all your tissues, body and mind…

END OF QUOTE

So, now we know!

Before you rush off and fill you days with meditation, skin brushing, oiling, sleeping, walking, sweating, exercising, dieting, shopping colourful vegetables, breathing as instructed, etc. – or, heaven forbid, train as an ‘emunctorologist’ – you might remember that we have covered detox – and that’s what ‘Emunctorology’ essentially turns out to be – several times before on this blog. I think that my conclusions from last year still hold:

If your life-style is unhealthy, don’t think that detox will help, but change your ways.

If the air that you breathe or the water that you drink are polluted, don’t think that detox is the solution, but punish the government that is responsible for these disasters and vote for someone more responsible.

Detox, as used in alternative medicine, is stupid, unethical nonsense promoted by charlatans of the worst kind; don’t fall for it!!!

Virologists have discovered the very virus that is threatening the survival of the UK. It is a Coxsackie virus, to be precise, a mutation of the one responsible for HAND FOOT AND MOUTH DISEASE. In contrast to the Coxsackie A 16, the new ‘Coxsackie Brexit Strong’ (‘Coxsackie BS’ for short) seems to attack mostly adult Brits. By no means everybody is affected, and the scientists have already identified important risk factors:

  • being English,
  • being a nationalist,
  • white colour,
  • male gender,
  • age 60 and older,
  • low intelligence,
  • affluence,
  • cronyism,
  • aversion to Frogs,
  • dislike of Huns,
  • unusual dress-sense,
  • propensity of fill own pockets,
  • urge to invest in tax-heavens.

The infected individuals display a wide range of symptoms, including the compulsory repetition of slogans such as:

  • Brexit is Brexit!
  • We want our country back!!
  • The will of the people!!!
  • Get over it!!!!
  • Strong and stable!!!!!
  • The treasury are fiddling the figures!!!!!!

The disease is dangerously progressive, and its victims show increasing breakdown of reason, critical thinking, insight into facts, common sense, understanding of economics, ability to consider the views of experts, as well as further cognitive functions. Other significant symptoms, particularly of the later stages of the condition, is the urge to become the laughing-stock of other nations, galloping jingoism, and depicting uninfected individuals as ‘Remoaners’.

The danger for the UK arises from the fact that victims are eager to take over high places, for instance in politics. As the disease progresses, they become more and more ruthless in pursuing their aim to ‘MAKE BRITAIN GERAT AGAIN’. They tend to make false promises, lie in Parliament, avoid questions, withhold information, engage in intrigues, attempt to turn the BBC into a propaganda machine in the style of Josef Goebbels etc. … and, when confronted with the truth, shrug it off with an imbecilic smile.

The virus, it is assumed, affects the brain’s newly discovered ‘honesty-centre’ and turns it into a malignant ‘xenophobia centre’. The victim feels no pain; instead (s)he is taken over by an ever-increasing sense of righteousness and an urge to behave like a ‘little Englander’. In some badly affected individuals, this phenomenon shows itself in a bizarre dress-sense (e. g. ‘Victorian undertaker’).

Several concerned scientists have issues a nation-wide alert stating: ‘This is a national emergency! If the virus remains unchecked, the UK will go straight back into the Dark Ages.’

Virologists are currently working tirelessly trying to find a cure; experts say that it will take months to make meaningful progress. “We are working flat out, but our immunisation might come too late – not least because, due to insufficient funding, we have to work on a shoestring”, said one desperate scientist.

By contrast, enthusiasts from the alternative medicine scene claim to have found the solution: homeopathy!

Researchers at ‘British Science in Homeopathy’ (or ‘BS Homeopathy’) have re-analysed Hahnemann’s Organon in full detail and extrapolated that, based on the guru’s words, they can produce an effective remedy in a timely fashion. In fact, they already have exposed distilled water to the sound of recorded speeches by Hitler, Mussolini, the KKK and Trump. According to homeopathy’s ‘dislike cures dislikes’ principle, this procedure generates a novel ‘mother tincture’, fittingly called ‘Brexit Solution’, or BS for short.

Currently, the homeopaths are potentising this remedy and are organising its large-scale production. However, a fly has been discovered in the homeopathic ointment: a heated debate has erupted amongst these experts whether to employ ‘BS C30’ or ‘BS C200’ for the planned nation-wide emergency immunisation programme. Proponents of the ‘BS C200’ solution insist that such a dramatically high potency is needed in our present acute emergency, while members of the ‘C30 camp’ caution that it might cause a severe homeopathic aggravation which would lead to an outbreak of open hostilities in Europe. “After 70 years of peace, it would be foolish to risk it”, one senior homeopath has been quoted saying.

What better to give to you for the holidays than your very own CHRISTMAS SURVIVAL KIT? This article by Eileen Scullion, Registered Homeopath LicISH ISHom with the Irish Society of Homeopaths explains. Sadly, its recommendations lack sections detailing the evidence for the claims made. Therefore, I have taken the liberty of adding my short scientific assessments (IN BOLD CAPITAL LETTERS):

START OF QUOTE

1. Over indulgence

Nux Vomica – For symptoms that arise after over indulgence and excess in food, alcohol, tobacco and coffee. The person suffers from headaches, indigestion, nausea and irritability and symptoms are worse in the morning or after eating.

Arsenicum – For symptoms of diarrhea, vomiting, cramps where you suspect food poisoning.

ZERO PLAUSIBILITY, NO EVIDENCE FOR EFFECTIVENESS.

2. Stress & Anxiety

Argentum Nitricum – Anxiety from worry that it won’t work out – What if the turkey burns? What if the electric goes out? What if the gifts don’t arrive on time? There is a great sense of urgency, hurriedness and worrying about everything with sleepless nights of tossing and turning.

ZERO PLAUSIBILITY, NO EVIDENCE FOR EFFECTIVENESS.

3. Sleep problems

Coffea – Sleeplessness from excitement. For the kids who just can’t sleep in anticipation of Santa’s arrival.

ZERO PLAUSIBILITY, NO EVIDENCE FOR EFFECTIVENESS.

4. Anger and resentment

Staphysagria – If you are feeling angry and resentful and are suffering in silence, or have difficulty in saying no but feel walked over, then this is an excellent remedy to help verbalise things or process your emotions.   Pent up emotions can also be accompanied with urinary tract infections where this remedy fits the symptoms.

ZERO PLAUSIBILITY, NO EVIDENCE FOR EFFECTIVENESS.

5. Colds

Aconite – If caught at the early stage, nip those colds in the bud that come on suddenly after exposure to cold dry winds or getting chilled.

ZERO PLAUSIBILITY, NO EVIDENCE FOR EFFECTIVENESS.

END OF QUOTE

As the ‘survival kit’ turns out to be pure speculation, fantasy and wishful thinking, let’s join into the seasonal fun and add some equally evidence-based homeopathic treatments of our own.

1. World peace

We all live in dangerous times, but the way to world peace could be guaranteed by this homeopathic remedy: Donald Trump C30. It is manufactured by exposing a glass of distilled water to a picture of the US president for about 30 minutes and then potentising the mother tincture 30 times in the time-tested way of homeopathy.

2. Fuzzy head

After all the booze and laziness over the holidays, one is bound to feel oddly fuzzy, incoherent and unfocussed. My homeopathic remedy for this complaint is HRH C200. You can make it yourself: take a vial of distilled water to a public library, find Prince Charles’ book ‘Harmony‘ (do not buy this book! it is expensive and not worth it), put the vial between its pages and shake vigorously. Subsequently return the book to its shelve and potentise your mother tincture 200 times.

3. Poverty

Yes, Christmas is expensive! If your bank account is now empty, don’t worry: homeopathy can help. Take your last fiver, cut a tiny bit off, grind it down in some sugar, put the mixture in distilled water, and your mother tincture is ready. You can then potentise it in the usual way; if you want to become a millionaire use the £ C30 potency; if you prefer to be a billionaire, I recommend the £ C200 dilution.

I must stop myself here, because I hope you, the reader of this post, will now chip in. If you are suffering from any symptom at all, please use your imagination and, based on the ‘like cures like’ principle, design your very own homeopathic cure.

Yes, that’s my Christmas challenge.

Have fun!

This is a blog about alternative medicine! A blog that promised to cover all major forms of alternative medicine. So, how could I have so far ignored the incredible health benefits of Apple Cider Vinegar (ACV)? Realising that this omission is quite frankly scandalous, I now quickly try to make amends by dedicating this entire post to ACV and its fantastic properties.

There is no shortage of information on the subject (almost 1.5 million websites!!!); this article entitled “13 Reasons Apple Cider Vinegar Is the Magic Potion You Need in Your Life”, for instance, tells us about the ’13 Real Benefits of vinegar’. As it was published in the top science journal ‘COSMOPOLITAN’, it must be reliable. The article makes the wonders of ACV very clear:

START OF QUOTE

1. It reduces bloating. Vinegar increases the acidity in the stomach, which allows it to digest the food you’ve eaten and helps propel it into the small intestine, according to Raphael Kellman, MD, founder of the Kellman Center for Integrative and Functional Medicine in New York City. Because slow digestion can cause acid reflux, a burning sensation that occurs when food in your stomach backs up all the way into your esophagus and triggers feelings of fullness, consuming vinegar to move things along can stop you from feeling like the Pillsbury Dough Boy.

2. It increases the benefits of the vitamins and minerals in your food. “When your stomach isn’t producing enough acid, this impairs the absorption of nutrients as well as B6, folate, calcium, and iron,” Dr. Kellman explains. Help your body by ingesting a bit more acid in the form of vinegar, and you’ll actually be able to use all the good stuff you consumed by ordering the side salad instead of fries.

3. It cancels out some of the carbs you eat. The acetic acid found in vinegar interferes with the enzymes in your stomach responsible for digesting starch so you can’t absorb the calories from carbs you’ve eaten.

4. It softens your energy crash after eating lots of sugar or carbs. Consuming vinegar before a meal can help by slowing the rush of sugar to your blood stream, so your blood sugar spike resembles a hill instead of a mountain and you don’t crash quite as hard.

5. It keeps you full longer. In a small but thorough study, researchers found that people who consumed vinegar before eating a breakfast of white bread felt more satisfied 90 minutes after eating compared to people who only ate the bread. (Worth noting: Two hours after eating, both groups were equally hungry. It just goes to show why white bread doesn’t make a stellar breakfast food — with or without vinegar.)

6. It can help your muscles produce energy more efficiently before a major push. Endurance athletes sometimes drink diluted vinegar before they carb-load the night before competing because acetic acid can helps the muscles turn carbs into energy to fuel intense exercise, according to well-regarded research conducted on animals.

7. It could lower your blood pressure. Animal studies suggest that drinking vinegar can lower your blood pressure by a few points. Researchers don’t understand exactly how this works or whether it is equally effective among humans, but Johnston is pretty confident it can make at least a modest difference.

8. It cleans fruits and veggies. The best way to clean produce, according to Johnston, is with diluted vinegar: Research suggests its antibacterial properties can significantly reduce pathogens such as Salmonella. Just fill an empty spray bottle with diluted vinegar and spritz your produce (salad stuff, fruits, etc.) then rinse in regular water before serving.

9. It kills bad breath. You might have heard that the antibacterial properties of vinegar can kill microorganisms responsible for bad breath — and in theory, this is true. However, Johnston warns, “it’s no more effective than any other antibacterial agents, and there are better products designed for this purpose.”

10. It deodorizes smelly feet. Just wipe down your clompers with a paper towel dipped in diluted vinegar. The antibacterial properties of vinegar will kill the smelly stuff.

11. It relieves jellyfish stings. In case you’re ever stung by a jellyfish and just so happen to have diluted vinegar on hand, you’ll be awfully lucky: Vinegar deactivates the jellyfish’s sting better than many other remedies — even though hot water still works best, according to a study that compared both techniques.

12. It balances your body’s pH levels, which could mean better bone health. Although vinegar is obviously acidic, it actually has a neutralizing effect once it’s inside of you. Meaning: It makes your body’s pH more basic (i.e., alkaline).

13. It alleviates heartburn — sometimes, according to Johnston, who just wrapped up a study on using vinegar to treat this condition. Vinegar’s effectiveness depends on the source of your heartburn: If you have erosive heartburn caused by lesions in your esophagus or stomach ulcers, a dose of vinegar will only aggravate the problem. But if your heartburn stems from something you ate, adding acetic acid to your stomach can help neutralize the acid in there and help fix the problem, providing you with at least a little bit of comfort.

END OF QUOTE

What, you are not impressed by these claims nor the references? I found another website that offers plenty more science:

  1. Katie J. Astell, Michael L. Mathai, Andrew J. McAinch, Christos G. Stathis, Xiao Q. Su. A pilot study investigating the effect of Caralluma fimbriata extract on the risk factors of metabolic syndrome in overweight and obese subjects: a randomised controlled clinical trial. Biomedical and Lifestyle Diseases (BioLED) Unit, College of Health and Biomedicine, Victoria University, Melbourne, Victoria 3021, Australia.
  2. Niedzielin, K., Kordecki, H.,
    http://journals.lww.com/eurojgh/Abstract/2001/10000/A_controlled,_double_blind,_randomized_study_on.4.aspx
  3. M. Million, et al. Obesity-associated gut microbiota is enriched in Lactobacillus reuteri and depleted in Bifidobacterium animalis and Methanobrevibacter smithii. International Journal of Obesity (2012) 36, 817–825; doi:10.1038/ijo.2011.153; published online 9 August 2011
  4. Rastmanesh R., et al. High polyphenol, low probiotic diet for weight loss because of intestinal microbiota interaction. Chemico-Biological InteractionsPublished 15 October 2010.
  5. Thielecke F, et al. Epigallocatechin-3-gallate and postprandial fat oxidation in overweight/obese male volunteers: a pilot study Eur J Clin Nutr. 2010 Jul;64(7):704-13. doi: 10.1038/ejcn.2010.47.
  6. Wang H., Effects of catechin enriched green tea on body composition. Obesity (Silver Spring). 2010 Apr;18(4):773-9. doi: 10.1038/oby.2009.256.
  7. Bitange Nipa Tochi, Zhang Wang, Shi – Ying Xu and Wenbin Zhang, 2008. Therapeutic Application of Pineapple Protease (Bromelain): A Review. Pakistan Journal of Nutrition, 7: 513-520.
  8. Date K, Satoh A, Iida K, Ogawa H. Pancreatic α-Amylase Controls Glucose Assimilation by Duodenal Retrieval through N-Glycan-specific Binding, Endocytosis, and Degradation. J Biol Chem. 2015 May 28. pii: jbc.M114.594937.
  9. Perano SJ,Couper JJ,Horowitz M, Martin AJ, Kritas S, Sullivan T, Rayner CK. Pancreatic enzyme supplementation improves the incretin hormone response and attenuates postprandial glycemia in adolescents with cystic fibrosis: a randomized crossover trial.J Clin Endocrinol Metab. 2014 Jul;99(7):2486-93. doi: 10.1210/jc.2013-4417. Epub 2014 Mar 26.

Ok, not plenty; and not very sound or relevant either.

So, let’s do a Medline search! This is sure to produce convincing clinical trials on human patients that back up all of the above claims.

Yes! Medline does indeed generate 58 hits for ACV (just to give you a comparison, searching for ‘atenolol’, a fairly ancient beta-blocker, for instance, generates 7877 hits and searching for ‘acupuncture’ provides more that 27 000 hits):

The first human study of ACV listed on Medline is from one of my favourite journals, the . It is not a clinical trial, but a case report:

A 32-y-old married woman was admitted with intense vaginal discharge with foul odor, itching, groin pain, and infertility for the past 5 y. Candida albicans was isolated from the culture of vaginal swab. The patient was diagnosed with chronic vaginal candida infection. She failed to respond to integrative medicine methods prescribed. Recovery was achieved with the application of apple cider vinegar. Alternative treatment methods can be employed in patients unresponsive to medical therapies. As being one of these methods, application of apple cider vinegar can cure vaginal candida infection.

But surely that cannot be all!

No, no, no! There is more; a pilot study has also been published. It included all of 10 patients and concluded that vinegar affects insulin-dependent diabetes mellitus patients with diabetic gastroparesis by reducing the gastric emptying rate even further, and this might be a disadvantage regarding to their glycaemic control.

That’s what I like! A bold statement, even though we are dealing with a tiny pilot. He who dares wins!

Anything else?

Afraid not! The rest of the 58 references are either animal studies, in vitro experiments or papers that were entirely irrelevant for the clinical effects of ACV.

But how can this be?

Does this mean that all the claims made by ‘COSMOPOLITAN’ and thousands of other publications are bogus?

I cannot imagine – no, it must mean that, yet again, science has simply not kept up with the incredible pace of alternative medicine.

 

The Society of Homeopaths (SoH) has launched a campaign to inform the public that, despite everything non-homeopaths may say and despite the undeniable facts about homeopathy, their remedies are highly effective. This article provides a detailed account of their incompetence.

I saw the image below first on Twitter. It is part of their current campaign and summarises ‘POSITIVE MESSAGES ABOUT HOMEOPATHY’ as the SoH proclaim them. Presumably, they did this piece of work to help their members finding the right arguments when defending the indefensible.

I am not usually prone to laughing fits, but this had me in stiches! It is hilarious, I think; a true masterpiece of comedy.

The masterpiece is almost too perfect to tarnish with my comments; however, I cannot resist. Sorry!

I will take the arguments in turn going clockwise and starting with

‘HOMEOPATHY MEDICINES ARE TESTED SAFELY AND EFFECTIVELY ON HEALTHY HUMANS’

Should this not be ‘homeopathic medicines’? In any case, the remedies (medicines seems too strong a word) are tested in so-called ‘provings’ – yes, safely because they normally contain no active ingredient… and effectively? I cannot see why provings might be ‘effective’; they are pure fantasy.

HOMEOPATHY MAKES A POSITIVE CONTRIBUTION TO INTEGRATED HEALTHCARE

No, as we have discussed often on this blog, adding cow pie to apple pie is not a positive contribution to anything.

HOMEOPATHY HAS BEEN AVAILABLE ON THE NHS SINCE 1948

Appeal to tradition = fallacy.

Appeal to authority = fallacy.

HOMEOPATHY PUTS THE PATIENT AT THE CENTRE OF THEIR HEALTHCARE

This too is false logic, because all good medicine puts the patient at the centre; in addition it is grammatically false English (if I as a non-native speaker may be so bold).

HOMEOPATHY IS USED BY 15% OF UK CITIZENS

I doubt it. But even if this figure is correct, an appeal to popularity is a fallacy and not a logical argument.

HOMEOPATHY IS USED BY 450 MILLION PEOPLE WORLDWIDE

I doubt it. But even if this figure is correct, an appeal to popularity is a fallacy and not a logical argument.

HOMEOPATHY IS A SYSTEM OF NATURAL HEALTHCARE THAT HAS BEEN USED WORLDWIDE FOR 200 YEARS

What is ‘natural’ in endlessly diluting things like ‘Berlin Wall’ and pretending it is a medicine? In any case, the appeal to tradition is yet another fallacy.

HOMEOPATHY DOES NOT CONTRADICT SCIENTIFIC PROGRESS, IT IS PART OF IT

This is where I almost fell off my chair; homeopathy is the opposite of progress, it is a dogma and a belief-system.

HOMEOPATHY IS HOLISTIC

All good medicine is holistic; arguably, homeopathy is not holistic.

HOMEOPATHY IS EFFECTIVE IN BOTH ACUTE AND CHRONIC ILLNESS

Yes, this is what homeopaths believe, but it is not true.

To conclude what better than quoting the person who, a long time ago, said: “HOMEOPATHS ARE THE CLOWNS AMONGST THE HEALTHCARE PROFESSIONALS” ?

 

Who could resist reading an article entitled “Is Dead Vagina Syndrome Real? Plus, 4 Ways To Boost Your Libido“?

Well I couldn’t, particularly as it came from a site promisingly called ‘ALTERNATIVE DAILY’!

And I did not regret it. Here are some excerpts:

…“Dead vagina syndrome” or DVS is used to describe a woman’s over-sensitized vagina. Some people believe that regularly using a strong vibrator can cause a woman to lose feeling in her private parts. What’s worse, it’s thought that this desensitization of the nether regions makes it almost impossible for a woman to get aroused with an actual human partner. Thus, DVS is born. The theory behind the condition suggests that using a strong vibrator regularly will ultimately damage sensitive nerves around the clitoris and in the vagina…”

[Luckily, there is help – help from all natural, herbal remedies, no less. The article recommends the following cures]

Saffron

Saffron, a culinary delicacy, has a powerful libido-boosting effect. In fact, research suggests that saffron has been used traditionally as an aphrodisiac. And a little goes a long way. All you need is one or two strands to do the trick.

Maca root

Used for centuries in Asian countries, maca root has traditionally been used for male sexuality. But a study from the Department of Psychiatry, Massachusetts General Hospital has found that it may also be helpful for women in need of a sexual boost.

Nutmeg

In animal studies, nutmeg has been found to increase sexual activity in male rats. Interestingly, nutmeg has also been used traditionally as an aphrodisiac by African women and is still used today by women of all cultures. So, what’s good for men is obviously good for women too…

END OF QUOTE

Before you get all excited and start planting your own physic garden or hurry to the next health food shop, let me tell you this: I have looked into the evidence, and to call it flimsy would be the understatement of the year. There is no good reason to believe that these herbal remedies (or any other alternative therapy) can help women increase their libido.

Thankfully, the article ends on a truthful and reassuringly positive note: “most experts agree that DVS is not a real medical concern for women.”

… nor for men, I hasten to add.

 

Yes, I did promise to report on my participation in the ‘Goldenes Brett’ award which took place in Vienna and Hamburg on 23/11/2017. I had been asked to come to Vienna and do the laudation for the life-time achievement in producing ridiculous nonsense. This year, the award went to the ‘DEUTSCHER ZENTRALVEREIN HOMOEOPATHISCHER AERZTE’ (DZVhÄ), the German Central Society of Homoeopathic Doctors.

In my short speech, I pointed out that this group is a deserving recipient of this prestigious negative award. Founded in 1829, the DZVhÄ  is a lobby-group aimed at promoting homeopathy where and how they can. It is partly responsible for the fact that homeopathy is still highly popular in Germany, and that many German consumers seem to think that homeopathy is an evidence-based therapy.

Cornelia Bajic, the current president of this organisation stated on her website that “Homöopathie hilft bei allen Krankheiten, die keiner chirurgischen oder intensivmedizinischen Behandlung bedürfen“ (homeopathy helps with all diseases which do not need surgical or intensive care), advice that, in my view, has the potential to kill millions.

The DZVhÄ also sponsors the publication of a large range of books such as ‘Was kann die Homoeopathie bei Krebs’ (What can homeopathy do for cancer?). This should be a very short volume consisting of just one page with just one word: NOTHING. But, in fact, it provides all sorts of therapeutic claims that are not supported by evidence and might seriously harm those cancer patients who take it seriously.

But the DZVhÄ does much, much more than just promotion. For instance it organises annual ‘scientific’ conferences – I have mentioned two of them previously here, here and here. In recent years one of its main activity must have been the defamation of certain critics of homeopathy. For instance, they supported Claus Fritzsche in his activities to defame me and others. And recently, they attacked Natalie Grams for her criticism of homeopathy. Only a few days ago, Cornelia Bajic attacked doctor Gram’s new book – embarrassingly, Bajic then had to admit that she had not even read the new book!

The master-stroke of the DZVhÄ , in my opinion, was the fact that they supported the 4 homeopathic doctors who went to Liberia during the Ebola crisis wanting to treat Ebola patients with homeopathy. At the time Bajic stated that “Unsere Erfahrung aus der Behandlung anderer Epidemien in der Geschichte der Medizin lässt den Schluss zu, dass eine homöopathische Behandlung die Sterblichkeitsrate der Ebola-Patienten signifikant verringern könnte” (Our experience with other epidemics in the history of medicine allows the conclusion that homeopathic treatment might significantly reduce the mortality of Ebola patients).

As I said: the DZVhÄ are a well-deserving winner of this award!

 

The ‘Dr Rath Foundation’ just published a truly wonderful (full of wonders) article about me. I want to publicly congratulate the author: he got my name right [but sadly not much more]. Here is the opening passage of the article which I encourage everyone to read in full [the numbers in square brackets refer to my comments below].

Professor Edzard Ernst: A Career Built On Discrediting Natural Health Science? [1]

Professor Edzard Ernst, a retired German [2] physician and academic, has recently [3] become a prominent advocate of plans that could potentially outlaw [4] the entire profession of naturopathic doctors [5] in Germany. Promoting the nonsensical idea that naturopathic medicine somehow poses a risk to public health, Ernst attacks its practitioners as supposedly having been educated in “nonsense” [6]. Tellingly, however, given that he himself has seemingly not published even so much as one completely original scientific trial of his own [7], Ernst’s apparent attempts to discredit natural healthcare approaches are largely reliant instead on his analysis or review of handpicked negative studies carried out by others [8].

  1. When I was appointed at Exeter to research alternative medicine in 1993, I had already been a full professor at Hannover, Germany and subsequently at Vienna, Austria. If anything, coming to Exeter was a big step down in terms of ‘career’, salary, number of co-workers etc. (full details in my memoir)
  2. I am German-born, became an Austrian citizen in 1990, and since 2000 I am a British national.
  3. I have been critical about the German ‘Heilpraktiker’ for more than 20 years.
  4. This refers to the recent ‘Muensteraner Memorandum’ which is the work of an entire team of multidisciplinary experts and advocates reforming this profession.
  5. ‘Heilpraktiker’ are certainly not doctors; they have no academic or medical background.
  6. This is correct, and I stand by my statement that educating people in vitalism and other long-obsolete concepts is pure nonsense.
  7. Since I am researching alternative medicine, I have conducted and published about 40 ‘scientific trials’, and before that time (1993) I have published about the same number again in various other fields.
  8. This refers to systematic reviews which, by definition, include all the studies available on a defines research question, regardless of their conclusion (their aim is to minimise random and selection biases)  .

I hope you agree that these are a lot of mistakes (or are these even lies?) in just a short paragraph.

Now you probably ask: who is Dr Rath?

Many reader of this blog will have heard of him. This is what the Guardian had to say about this man:

Matthias Rath, the vitamin campaigner accused of endangering thousands of lives in South Africa by promoting his pills while denouncing conventional medicines as toxic and dangerous, has dropped a year-long libel action against the Guardian and been ordered to pay costs.

A qualified doctor who is thought to have made millions selling nutritional supplements around the globe through his website empire, Rath claimed his pills could reverse the course of Aids and distributed them free in South Africa, where campaigners, who have won a hard-fought battle to persuade the government to roll out free Aids drugs to keep millions alive, believe Rath’s activities led to deaths.

The Dr Rath Foundation focuses its promotional activities on eight countries – the US, the UK, Germany, the Netherlands, South Africa, Spain, France and Russia – claiming that his micronutrient products will cure not just Aids, but cancer, heart disease, strokes and other illnesses…

I am sure you now understand why I am rather proud of being defamed by this source!

 

 

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