MD, PhD, FMedSci, FRSB, FRCP, FRCPEd

satire

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The UK ‘COLLEGE OF MEDICINE’ has recently (and very quietly) renamed itself; it now is THE COLLEGE OF MEDICINE AND INTEGRATED HEALTH (COMIH). This takes it closer to its original intentions of being the successor of the PRINCE OF WALES FOUNDATION FOR INTEGRATED MEDICINE (PWFIM), the organisation that had to be shut down amidst charges of fraud and money-laundering. Originally, the name of COMIH was to be COLLEGE OF INTEGRATED HEALTH (as opposed to disintegrated health?, I asked myself at the time).

Under the leadership of Dr Michael Dixon, OBE (who also led the PWFIM into its demise), the COMIH pursues all sots of activities. One of them seems to be publishing ‘cutting-edge’ articles.

A recent and superb example is on the fascinating subject of ‘holistic dentistry‘:

START OF QUOTE

Professor Sonia Williams … explores how integrated oral health needs to consider the whole body, not just the dentition…

Complementary and alternative approaches can also be considered as complementary to ‘mainstream’ care, with varying levels of evidence cited for their benefit.

Dental hypnosis (British Society of Medical and Dental Hypnosis) can help support patients including those with dental phobia or help to reduce pain experience during treatment.

Acupuncture in dentistry (British Society of Dental Acupuncture) can, for instance, assist with pain relief and allay the tendency to vomit during dental care.  There is also a British Homeopathic Dental Association.

For the UK Faculty of General Dental Practitioners, holistic dentistry refers to strengthening the link between general and oral health.

For some others, the term also represents an ‘alternative’ form of dentistry, which may concern itself with the avoidance and elimination of ‘toxic’ filling materials, perceived potential harm from fluoride and root canal treatments and with treating dental malocclusion to put patients back in ‘balance’.

In the USA, there is a Holistic Dental Association, while in the UK, there is the British Society for Mercury-free Dentistry. Unfortunately the evidence base for many of these procedures is weak.

Nevertheless, pressure to avoid mercury in dental restorative materials is becoming mainstream.

In summary, integrated health and care in dentistry can mean different things to different people. The weight of evidence supports the contention that the mouth is an integral part of the body and that attention to the one without taking account of the other can have adverse consequences.

END OF QUOTE

Do I get this right? ‘Holistic dentistry’ in the UK means the recognition that my mouth belongs to my body, and the adoption of a few dubious treatments with w ‘weak’ evidence base?

Well, isn’t this just great? I had no idea that my mouth belongs to my body. And clearly the non-holistic dentists in the UK are oblivious to this fact as well. I am sooooooo glad we got this cleared up.

Thanks COMIH!!!

And what about the alternative treatments used by holistic dentists?

The British Society of Medical and Dental Hypnosis (Scotland) inform us on their website that a trained medical and dental hypnotherapists can help you to deal with a large variety of challenges that you face in your everyday life e.g.

Asthma Migraines
Anxiety & Stress Smoking Cessation
Dental Problems Insomnia
Weight Problems Psychosexual Disorders
Depression Pain Management
Irritable Bowel  And many other conditions

I hasten to add that, for most of these conditions, the evidence fails to support the claims.

The British Society of Dental Acupuncture claim on their website that the typical conditions that may be helped by acupuncture are:

  • TMJ (jaw joint) problems
  • Facial pain
  • Muscle spasm in the head and neck
  • Stress headaches & Migraine
  • Rhinitis & sinusitis
  • Gagging
  • Dry mouth problems
  • Post-operative pain
  • Dental anxiety

I hasten to add that, for most of these conditions, the evidence fails to support the claims.

The British Homeopathic Dental Association claim on their website that studies have shown improved bone healing around implants with Symphytum and reduced discomfort and improved healing time with ulcers and beneficial in oral lichen planus.

I hasten to add that none of these claims are not supported by sound evidence.

The COMIH article is entitled “The mouth reflects whole body health – but what does integrated care mean for dentists?’ So, what does it mean? Judging from this article, it means an amalgam (pun intended) of platitudes, bogus claims and outright nonsense.

Pity that they did not change their name to College of Medicine and Integrated Care – I could have abbreviated it as COMIC!

It’s still ‘HOMEOPATHIC AWARENESS WEEK’. What better time for introducing you to one of the most bewildering aspect of this bizarre therapy?

Homeopathy is not just being promoted as a treatment for humans and animals, it is also advocated for plants. There are plenty of websites about this that give concrete advice such as this one: “Try the key symptom of a remedy that you would normally give to a person, on plants. For example, in cases of freezing where the leaves turn to a light or silvery colour, use Aconite 200 CH. When the leaves are more of a reddish colour use Belladonna 200 CH. Just like with a feverish child. If the child is pale then you know it is an Aconite fever. If is extremely red on the other hand, like a hot tomato, then the remedy is Belladonna. And you see this on the leaves too. You simply convert it one to one.”

Given this school of thought within homeopathy (not even Hahnemann would have dreamt this up), it seems only logical to use plants also for attempts to prove that highly diluted homeopathic remedies are more than pure placebos.

Weird?

Not to homeopaths!

Not even to some academic researchers within the realm of homeopathy.

The authors of this systematic review evaluated publications on plant-based test systems. A literature search was conducted in online databases and specific journals, including publications from 2008 to 2017 dealing with plant-based test systems in homeopathic basic research. To be included, they had to contain statistical analysis and fulfil quality criteria according to a pre-defined manuscript information score (MIS). Publications scoring at least 5 points (maximum 10 points) were assumed to be adequate. They were analysed for the use of adequate controls, outcome and reproducibility.

Seventy-four publications on plant-based test systems were found. Thirty-nine publications were either abstracts or proceedings of conferences and were excluded. From the remaining 35 publications, 26 reached a score of 5 or higher in the MIS. Adequate controls were used in 13 of these publications. All of them described specific effects of homeopathic preparations. The publication quality still varied: a substantial number of publications (23%) did not adequately document the methods used. Four reported on replication trials. One replication trial found effects of homeopathic preparations comparable to the original study. Three replication trials failed to confirm the original study but identified possible external influencing factors. Five publications described novel plant-based test systems. Eight trials used systematic negative control experiments to document test system stability.

The authors concluded that, regarding research design, future trials should implement adequate controls to identify specific effects of homeopathic preparations and include systematic negative control experiments. Further external and internal replication trials, and control of influencing factors, are needed to verify results. Standardised test systems should be developed.

Really, just one (!) replication trial found effects of homeopathic preparations comparable to the original study? And yet the authors do not arrive at the only possible conclusion that is based on the actual data presented?

THE AVAILABLE EVIDENCE FAILS TO SHOW THAT PLANT-BASED TEST SYSTEMS PROVIDE SOUND EVIDENCE TO SUGGEST THAT THEY ARE USEFUL OR THAT HIGHLY DILUTED HOMEOPATHICS ARE DIFFERENT FROM PLACEBOS.

But there are other things which seem odd here. The very first two sentences of the abstract of the above article read as follows: Plant-based test systems have been described as a useful tool for investigating possible effects of homeopathic preparations. The last reviews of this research field were published in 2009/2011.

This is odd because there is a very similar review dated 2015 (what is more, it is by some of the authors who also did the new review); it concluded: Plant models appear to be a useful approach for investigating basic research questions relating to homeopathic preparations, but more independent replication trials are needed in order to verify the results found in single experiments. Adequate controls and SNC experiments should be implemented on a routine basis to exclude false-positive results.

Why do the authors mislead us so badly?

Ahh, I see! They are affiliated to the following institutions:

  • Centre for Complementary Medicine, Faculty of Medicine, Institute for Infection Prevention and Hospital Epidemiology, University of Freiburg, Germany
  • Institute of Integrative Medicine, University of Witten/Herdecke, Witten, Germany
  • Institute of Complementary Medicine, University of Bern, Switzerland.
  • Hiscia Institute, Arlesheim, Switzerland
  • Crystal Lab, Landgoed Roepaen, Ottersum, Netherlands.

Could they have an interest in perpetuating the notion of homeopathy (for plants)?

Could it be that these researchers are less than objective?

So what?

No reason to make a fuss, because no harm done!

Not entirely true: some might choke laughing about the idea of treating plants with highly diluted, shaken water.

Prof Ke’s Asante Academy (Ke claims that asante is French and means good health – wrong, of course, but that’s the least of his errors) offers many amazing things, and I do encourage you to have a look at his website. Prof Ke is clearly not plagued by false modesty; he informs us that “I am proud to say that we have gained a reputation as one of the leading Chinese Medicine clinics and teaching institutes in the UK and Europe. One CEO from a leading Acupuncture register commented that we were the best in the country. One doctor gave up his medical job in a European country to come study Chinese medicine at Middlesex University (our partner) – he said simply it was because of Asante. Our patients, from royalty and celebrities to hard working people all over the world, have praised us highly for successfully treating their wide-ranging conditions, including infertility, skin problems, pain and many others. We are also very pleased to have pioneered Acupuncture service in the NHS and for over a decade we have seen tens of thousands of NHS patients in hospitals.”

He provides treatments for any condition you can imagine, courses in various forms of TCM, a range of videos (they are particularly informative), as well as interesting explanations and treatment plans for dozens of conditions. From the latter, I have chosen just two diseases and quote some extracts to give you a vivid impression of the Ke’s genius:

CANCER

There are some ways in which Chinese medicine can help cancer cases where Western medicine cannot. Various herbal prescriptions have been shown to help in bolstering the immune system and some herbs can actually attack the abnormal cells and viruses which are responsible for certain types of cancer.

Chinese Medicine treatment aims first to increase the body’s own defence mechanisms, then to kill the cancer cells. Effective though radiotherapy and chemotherapy may be, they tend to have a drastic effect on the body generally and patients often feel very tired and weak, suffer from stress, anxiety, fear, insomnia and loss of appetite. Chinese Medicine practitioners regard strengthening the patient psychologically and physically to be of primary importance.

Chinese Medicine herbal remedies can help reduce or eliminate the side-effects from radiotherapy or chemotherapy. Astragalus will help raise the blood cell count, the sickness caused by chemotherapy can be relieved with fresh ginger and orange peel, and acupuncture can also help. To attack the cancer itself, depending on type and location, different herbs will be used.

A Chinese Medicine practitiioner will decide whether the illness is the result of qi energy deficiency, blood deficiency or yin or yang deficiencyGinseng,astragalusChinese angelicacooked rehmannia rootwolfberry rootChinese yam and many tonic herbs may be used. But it is vital to remember that no one tonic is good for everybody. All treatments are dependent upon the individual. Some anti-cancer herbs used are very strong and sometimes make people sick, but this is because one poison is being used against another. How they work, and how clinically effective they are, is still being researched. No claims can be made for them based on modern scientific evaluation.

Acupuncture and meditation are also very important parts of the Chinese Medicine traditional approach to the treatment of cancer. These alleviate pain and induce a sense of calmness, instill confidence and build up the spirit of the body, so that patients do not need to take so many painkillers. In China, they have many meditation programmes which are used to treat cancer.

MENINGITIS

Chinese Medicine herbal treatment for meningitis has been very successful in China. In the recent past there were many epidemics, particularly in the north, and the hospitals routinely used Chinese herbs as treatment, with a high degree of success. One famous remedy in Chinese Medicine is called White Tiger Decoction, the main ingredients of which are gypsum and rice. These are simple things but they reduce the high fever and clear the infection from the brain. Modern medicine and Chinese Medicine used together is the most effective treatment.

END OF QUOTES

Ghosh, I am so glad that finally someone explained these things to me, and so logically and simply too. I used to have doubts about the value of TCM for these conditions, but now I am convinced … so much so that I go on Medline to find the scientific work of Prof Ke. But what, what, what? That is not possible; such a famous professor and no publications?

I conclude that my search skills are inadequate and throw myself into studying the plethora of courses Ke offers for the benefit of mankind:

Since 2000, Asanté Academy has officially collaborated with Middlesex University in running and teaching the BSc and MSc in Traditional Chinese Medicine.

  • BSc Degrees in Acupuncture and Traditional Chinese Medicine
  • MSc Degree in Chinese Medicine
  • Professional Practice in Herbal Medicine, Chinese Herbal Medicine and Acupuncture

But perhaps this is a bit too arduous; maybe so-called diploma courses suit me better? Personally, I am tempted by the ‘24-day Certificate Course in TCM Acupuncture‘ – it’s a bargain, just £ 2,880!

PS

Prof Ke, if you read these lines, would you please tell us where and when you got your professorship? Your otherwise ostentatious website seems to fail to disclose this detail.

Did you know that chiropractic is a religion?

Well, not quite but almost.

DD Palmer seriously toyed with the idea of turning chiropractic into a religion.

And rightly so!

In the absence of evidence, belief is everything.

And this is why, to this day, so many chiropractors bank (a most appropriate term in this context!) on belief rather than evidence.

Look, for instance at this lovely advertisement I found on Twitter (there are many more, but this one has to stand for the many).

Seven common benefits of chiropractic care!?!

Beneath the picture of a pathologically straight spine – if that is what chiro does to you, avoid it at all cost! – we see the name of the ‘doctor’ who seems to have designed this impressive picture. ‘Dr’ Schluter is even more versatile than his pretty advertisement implies; he also seems to treat newborn babies! And on his website he also tells us that he is able to treat allergies:

You may be surprised to find that chiropractic can do a great deal to alleviate some allergies. Allergies are very common and we become so used to their effect on us that we tend to ignore their symptoms. And many people are unaware of the gradual decline in health that results. Chiropractic treatment didn’t necessarily set out specifically to provide care for allergies, but due to the nature of the chiropractic care and its effect on the nervous system, it has been shown to help.

If we look at some of the common signs of allergies we find that they include some unexpected examples. Not only do we find the usual ones – asthma, sinus congestion, sneezing, itchy eyes, skin rashes and running nose – but also weight gain, Acne and even fluid retention and heartburn.

Many people approach the problem of allergies as though all allergens affect everyone in the same way; this is not the case. Because we are individuals, different allergens affect each of us in differing ways. Some allergens affect some and not others. Consequently treating the condition must be approached on this basis of individuality.

It may not be the pet fur or dried saliva that is kicked up as your pooch washes and scratches; it may also not be the pollen, grass dust or other one of the many irritants in the air at any one time. It could be that due to a misalignment of the spine (or subluxation), mild though it may be, the nervous system is finding it difficult to help the body adapt to its surroundings and is therefore unable to deal with the necessary adjustments.

As an individual you need to treat your body’s physical and nervous system as such. You could be, without even being aware of it, in a generally stressed condition – this may be through lack of sleep, poor nutrition or any one of a combination of the many other stressors affecting us daily. Suddenly you find that with the first spring pollen dust that comes along you begin to wheeze and sneeze!

You may not have previously connected chiropractors and allergies but, for you or someone you know, the connection could help.

Schluter Chiropractic works on the principle of reducing interference so the nervous system and body can work better. Providing that any symptom or condition (including pain) is occurring as a result of nerve interference from vertebral subluxation, there is a very good chance that it will improve with chiropractic care.

END OF QUOTE

Wise words indeed.

Like most chiros, ‘Dr’ Schulter seems to be a true miracle-worker; and because he can do miracles, he does not need to be rational or concerned about evidence or worried about telling the truth.

For Christ sake, it’s Easter!

We ought to show a bit of belief!!!

Why?

Because without it, the benefits of chiropractic would be just an illusion.

An announcement (it’s in German, I’m afraid) proudly declaring that ‘homeopathy fulfils the criteria of evidence-based medicine‘ caught my attention.

Here is the story:

In 2016, Dr. Melanie Wölk, did a ‘Master of Science’* at the ‘Donau University’ in Krems, Austria investigating the question whether homeopathy follows the rules of evidence-based medicine (EBM). She arrived at the conclusion that YES, IT DOES! This pleased the leading Austrian manufacturer of homeopathics (Dr Peithner) so much and so durably that, on 23 March 2018, he gave her a ‘scientific’ award (the annual Peithner award) for her ‘research’.

So far so good.

Her paper is unpublished, or at least not available on Medline; therefore, I am unable to evaluate it directly. All I know about it from the announcement is that she did her ‘research at the ‘Zentrum für Traditionelle Chinesische Medizin und Komplementärmedizin‘ of the said university. A quick Medline search revealed that this unit has never published anything, not a single paper, it seems! Disappointed I search for Dr. Christine Schauhuber, the leader of the unit; and again I find no Medline-listed publications in her name. My interim conclusion is thus that this institution might not be at the cutting edge of science.

But what do we know about Dr. Melanie Wölk’s award-winning master thesis *?

The announcement tells us that she investigated all RCTs published between 2010 and 2016. In addition, she evaluated:

On that basis, she arrived at her positive verdict – not just tentatively, but without doubt (“Das Ergebnis steht fest”).

Dr Peithner, the owner of the company and awarder of the prize, was quoted stating that this is a very important piece of work for homeopathy; it shows yet again what we see in our daily routine, namely that homeopathics are effective. Wölk’s investigation demonstrates furthermore that high-quality trials of homeopathy do exist, and that it is time to end the witch-hunt aimed at discrediting an effective therapy. Conventional medicine and homeopathy ought to finally work hand in hand – for the benefit of our patients. (“Für die Homöopathie ist das eine sehr wichtige Arbeit, die wieder zeigt, was wir in der ärztlichen Praxis täglich erleben, nämlich dass homöopathische Arzneimittel wirken. Wölks Untersuchung zeigt weiters deutlich, dass es sehr wohl hochqualitative Homöopathie-Studien gibt und es an der Zeit ist, die Hexenjagd zu beenden, mit der eine wirksame medizinische Therapie diskreditiert werden soll. Konventionelle Medizin und Homöopathie sollten endlich Hand in Hand arbeiten – zum Wohle der Patientinnen und Patienten.”)

I do hope that Dr Wölk uses the prize money (by no means a fortune; see photo) to buy some time for publishing her work (one of my teachers, all those years ago, used to say ‘unpublished research is no research’) so that we can all benefit from it. Until it becomes available, I should perhaps mention that the description of her methodology (publications between 2010 and 2016 [plus a few other papers that nicely fitted the arguments?]; including one Linde review and not his more recent re-analysis [see above]) does not inspire me to think that Dr Wölk’s research was anywhere near rigorous, systematic or complete. In the same vein, I am tempted to point out that the Swiss report is probably the very last document I would select, if I wanted to generate an objective picture about the value of homeopathy.

Taking all this into account, I conclude that we seem to be dealing here with a

  • pseudo-prize (given by a commercial firm to further its business) for a piece of
  • pseudo-research (the project seems to have been aimed to white-wash homeopathy) into
  • pseudo-medicine (a treatment that has been tested extensively but has not been shown to work beyond placebo).

*Wölk, Melanie: Eminenz oder Evidenz: Die Homöopathie auf dem Prüfstand der Evidence based Medicine. Masterarbeit zur Erlangung des akademischen Abschlusses Master of Science im Universitätslehrgang Natural Medicine. Donau-Universität Krems, Department für Gesundheitswissenschaften und Biomedizin. Krems, Mai 2016.

The UK ACUPPUNCTURE RESEARCH RESOURCE CENTRE (ARRC) is a specialist resource for acupuncture research information; the only such resource in the land. It is funded by the British Acupuncture Council (BAcC) and was established in 1994 by the BAcC in partnership with the Foundation for Research in Traditional Chinese Medicine.

The ARRC organise an annual meeting. This year’s meeting is special because it is their 20th! It is scheduled to take place in London on 17th March. In case you are already busy that day, or you want to save the £120 registration fee, I have copied for you the programme below and am even able to inform you about the content of each lecture.

  1. Hugh MacPherson – Celebrating twenty years of acupuncture research
  2. Lee Hullender Rubin  – The Impact of Whole Systems Traditional Chinese Medicine on In Vitro Fertilization Outcomes – A Retrospective Cohort Study
  3. Robert Davis – Beyond Efficacy: Conducting and translating research for policy-makers considering acupuncture reimbursement in a small, rural US state
  4. Lee Hullender Rubin – Acupuncture Augmentation of Lidocaine Treatment of Provoked, localized Vulvodynia – a Feasability and Acceptability Pilot Study
  5. Florian Beissner – A TCM-based psychotherapy with acupuncture for endometriosis
  6. Beverley De Valois – Using moxa on St 36 to reduce chemotherapy-induced pancytopenia: a feasibility study
  7. Ian Appleyard – Warm needle acupuncture for osteoarthritis of the knee: a pilot study
  8. Ed Fraser – Stand Easy: An Evaluation of the acceptability and effectiveness of acupuncture as a treatment for post-traumatic stress disorder for veterans in Norfolk

Having attended plenty of such meetings in my time, I can give you a fairly good idea about the contents of the 8 lectures. Below, I provide succinct (and slightly satirical) summaries of what the presenters will tell their audience on the 17th:

  1. Despite difficult circumstances, we (the ARRC) have done very well indeed. We managed to publish lots of papers, and we made sure that not a single one reported a negative result. That would be bad for business. We are optimistic about the future provided we get some funding, of course.
  2. Whole Systems Traditional Chinese Medicine has a profoundly positive effect on the outcomes of In Vitro fertilization. We are totally balled over! Only the most pedantic sceptics would have reservations and might argue that the study had no controls and was retrospective. But who cares, we believe in positive results, and therefore, we never listen to criticism.
  3. Because efficacy is a sticky issue in the realm of acupuncture, it is much wiser to tackle policy makers by persuading them that they can save money (lots of it), if they implement the abundant use of acupuncture. The evidence for this notion is flimsy to say the least, but policy makers do not understand the science (and neither do we).
  4. Our study showed that Acupuncture Augmentation of Lidocaine Treatment is extremely good for vulvodynia. We are very impressed, over the moon even. Of course, this was a feasibility study and we should really only conclude that a full study may be feasible, but let’s not be nit-picking.
  5. Based on my very extensive experience, I am able to confirm that TCM-based psychotherapy with acupuncture is an excellent therapy for endometriosis. Rigorous, controlled clinical trials do not exist, but my findings are so clear that, quite honestly, we do not need them.
  6. Using moxa on St 36 to reduce chemotherapy-induced pancytopenia is feasible. Isn’t that lovely?
  7. My trial of warm needle acupuncture for osteoarthritis of the knee showed most encouraging results. Of course, this was only a pilot study, and from it we should really only conclude that a proper study may be feasible, but let’s not be holier than thou!
  8. Our results demonstrate that acupuncture as a treatment for post-traumatic stress disorder is amazingly effective. A breakthrough! What is more, veterans found it most acceptable. The study is not rigorous, but I don’t mind. I advocate this treatment to be rolled out nationally as a matter of urgency.

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So, there you are; that’s all you need to know about the 20th annual meeting of the ARRC.

You don’t need to go.

I have thus saved you £120!

No, I don’t expect thanks – I prefer, if you would send half of this amount (£60) to my account.

 

A friend recently sent me the link to a video about ‘FUNCTIONAL CRANIAL RELEASE’ (well-worth watching, particularly, if you need cheering up) and when I heard a patient after the treatment exclaim: “kind’a like an orgasm”, I needed no further convincing; I just had to look into this extraordinary and little-known jewel of an alternative therapy.

If you watched the video, you might think FCR is simply pumping some air up your nostrils, but you are wrong: it is much more, and it is very scientific!

Functional Cranial Release (FCR) is the art and science of restoring normal brain and nervous system function by using Functional Neurology along with NeuroCranial Restructuring to improve the brain’s ability to function better. FCR was created by Dr. John Lieurance who currently practices in Sarasota, Florida. Dr Timothy Lim was personally trained by Dr John Lieurance and now offers FCR or Functional Cranial Release in Singapore. We have clients who fly in from all over the South East Asia and Oceania regions just to receive FCR treatment.

Functional Cranial Release‘s (FCR) unique system improves the body’s function in the following ways:

  1. Restores the brain’s ability to oxygenate itself through both improving air flow through the nasal passage and also the normal pumping action inherent in cranial rhythm that moves nutrients such as oxygen and neurotransmitters that bath the central nervous system keeping it healthy.
  2. Utilizes neurological testing to determine which pathways and brain centers are either firing too much or too little by testing the following; Examination of your eye’s movements and reflexes, your muscles or motor system, the autonomic nervous system, your circulation, your sensory system, the vestibular system (or) your ability to balance [repeatedly using a computerized balance platform]. Adjusting those pathways through the specific use of various modalities including one or more of the following; Very Specific Chiropractic Adjustments of the spine, extremities, and cranium, Soft Tissue or Massage, Eye Pattern & Eye Exercises,  Canalith Repositioning (or) Eply’s, Vestibular Rehabilitative Modalities or VRT, and many others too numerous to list. The modalities used depend on the specific needs of each patient.
  3. A series of Cranial Releases are performed where the connective tissues that surround your brain and spinal cord called the Dura Mater are specifically released using endonasal balloon inflations. This is done in combination with the above mentioned functional neurologic modalities to provide the therapeutic effect to balance and normalize brain function. This normalization results in healing.

I bet you now wonder who this fabulous doctor Lieurance is. Wonder no more; he describes himself very well here:

Dr. John Lieurance, is a Naturopathic & Chiropractic Physician who has been in private practice in Sarasota for 20 years. He works at Advanced Rejuvenation, a multi-disciplinary clinic, with a focus on Chiropractic Functional Neurology, Functional Cranial Release (FCR), and musculoskeletal ultrasound.

It is easy to see that he is a real doctor, just look at his white coat and stethoscope!

And this website provides more valuable information about FCR:

Is FCR a Chiropractic adjustment ? Yes,  FCR falls under the scope of Chiropractic care and is billed as a Chiropractic adjustment.  If you are covered for Chiropractic care under your health insurance plan, then your FCR procedure will also be covered.

But what makes FCR so very attractive is that the list of conditions for which it is recommended is impressive and long; it even includes serious diseases such as Parkinson’s and stroke …

and don’t forget: ORGASM!!!

It is not often that I come across an alternative therapy that I have never before heard of. And when I do, I am naturally interested. Emunctorology is such a term – even my spell-check flags it up as a misprint, but trust me, it isn’t.

The term, my dictionary tells me, comes from the Latin emungere = to wipe clean (mungere = to wipe). Emunctory, the dictionary further informs me, relates to a body organ having an excretory function. It follows, that emunctorology is the science of the excretory functions of the body.

That does not mean it is an alternative therapeutic approach, I hear you say.

True, but we all know how inventive alternative practitioners can be.

This article explains (brace yourself for some comic relief):

START OF QUOTE

The emunctories are described as organs of elimination that support the process of detoxification. There are 5 major emunctories:

  1. Liver
  2. Lung
  3. Gastrointestinal tract – small and large intestine
  4. Kidneys / urinary tract
  5. Skin

The science of detoxification, Emunctorology, teaches us the language to understand and manage this process of detoxification.

The process of detoxification can be divided into two aspects:

  • Depuration: the purification of tissues that begins at the cellular level; includes the purification of fluids, organs, membranes, fatty tissue, etc. This aspect involves the packaging and the shipping of toxins, morbid matter, or ama to the emunctories, organs of elimination.
  • Drainage: the efficient elimination of toxins from their location in the emunctories. This is the final step to remove the burden of disease causing agents from the body. Healthy drainage is a constant need to maintain a disease-free body.

Depuration: Packaging and shipping toxins for elimination

If we think about the familiar process of digestion: it involves digestion of food, separation of nutrition from waste, and elimination of waste. The digestive process that occurs in the intestines is the gross depuration process that is easy to observe. It is a very good indicator of overall health and resilience.

Beyond the intestines, nutrition is again digested in the liver: which is a producer of cholesterols, glycogen, as well as a security gateway for chemical toxins. Beyond the liver, each cell in the body has a cellular digestive system; which harvests energy, repairs the cells, and eliminates toxic waste. Healthy digestive function at the intestinal, liver, and cellular levels ensures efficient regeneration tissue and efficient elimination of waste; the process of depuration.

The toxins, ama or morbid matter in our body come from two pathways: 1) Endogenous, naturally produced waste from the body’s metabolic processes, like reactive oxygen species that cause oxidative damage, feces, urine, etc.; 2) Exogenous, all toxic substances that we get from our environment, food, and emotional influences. When the process of elimination of toxins is overwhelmed, toxins are “hidden away” in the body to protect vital organs like the brain.

These toxins are primarily hidden in fat cells (adipose tissue) of the body. Depending on available space and preference, toxins also become stored in bones, muscles, connective tissue, and even the myelin sheaths that wrap around nerves. From their location in these tissues, toxins begin to block or modify normal physiological functions.

For an effective depuration process, elimination of toxins from all of these tissues is essential.

Drainage: Elimination of toxins from the body

The process of elimination also occurs at cellular and whole-body level. The main organs of eliminations, emunctories are main external outlets of the waste products. Cellular and physiological processes are subtle, yet equally important for bringing toxins to the emunctories for elimination. So the complete process of drainage requires elimination of waste at cellular level and elimination of waste out of the emunctories.

Accumulation of toxins at the emunctories, without proper elimination can also cause many problems. For example: 1) Cigarette smoke, mold, bacteria, microbial toxins are all exogenous toxins for the lung – prolonged exposure to these leads to chronic lung inflammation. 2) Presence of heavy metals and other toxins can cause abnormal folding a proteins – a problem that is implicated in causing neurodegenerative diseases like Alzheimer’s disease, Parkinson’s disease, etc. 3) Reactive oxygen species are created as part of cellular energy building process; as well as a side-product of inflammation; excessive amount can cause damage to DNA, cell walls, nerves, etc.

Activation of Emunctories:

All emunctories, organs of elimination, are active at all times; constantly working to make ensure the best possible health and physiological balance. Their functions can be enhanced by targeted daily choices in activity, food, environment, and hydration. Here are some simple strategies for activation:

Lungs…

 

  1. Inhale through your nose, filling your lungs to full capacity.
  2. Hold the breath for 3 seconds, then slowly exhale through your mouth.
  3. Repeat this exercise 16 times, twice a day.

Liver/Pancreas…

 

  1. Eat 2-3 servings of green leafy vegetables daily.
  2. 2-3 servings of colorful seasonal vegetables.
  3. Eat 1-2 servings of seasonal fruits daily.

Gastrointestinal tract…

  1. Several servings of fresh fruits and vegetables daily (same used for liver detox) – provide fiber and probiotic gut bacteria for normal activity of the intestines promoting regular bowel movements.
  2. Eat regular fermented foods: Yogurt, kimchi, sauerkraut, sour cream, kefir, etc. this is nutrition for replenishing gut-bacteria.
  3. All adults should drink 6-8 glasses of water every day.

Kidney/urinary tract…

 

  1. Eliminate refined sugars from diet completely – 1-2 teaspoons of honey, daily is enough.
  2. Drink plenty of water: add lemon slices and/or mint leaves to alkalinize the water.
  3. Support probiotic intake: Yogurt, kimchi, sauerkraut, sour cream, kefir, as well as fresh fruits and vegetables, preferably home grown or picked up from farmers market; this is nutrition for replenishing gut-bacteria.

Skin…

 

  1. Sweat regularly:
    • 20-30 minutes of aerobic exercise, done 5 times per week;
    • Sweat in a sauna or steam room after exercise for 20-30mins.
  2. Skin brush: use skin brush to gently scrub off old, dead skin. Brushing towards the heart also helps to promote lymph flow; For example: start at the hand and brush towards the shoulder.
  3. Apply oil: perform self-massage with sesame oil for Vata dominant body type, coconut for Pitta and Olive oil for Kapha body types, 2-3 times per week; ideally 10 minutes before going in the sauna to sweat. The oil nourishes the skin and sweating helps to pull out fat-soluble toxins from skin layers.

Mind…

 

  1. Meditation is a way to help quiet the activity of the mind. Regular practice of about 20 minutes twice a day can help to clear the mind and reboot.
  2. Walking is a moderate level exercise that also gives an opportunity to rest the mind from being engaged in doing things. Regular walks in the natural settings like the woods, has been shown to improve mood, self-esteem, and even boost the immune system.
  3. Play time with family and friends: whether it is physical activity or creative projects – play time is an ideal way giving the mind a break from the daily grind.
  4. Sleep: 7-8 hours of sleep every night between the hours of 10pm-6am. This helps to align the hormonal activity in the body and the mind with circadian rhythm, the day-night cycle of nature.
  5. Infusing these simple activities into your daily and weekly routines can help to optimize your natural capacity for detoxification. This helps to sustain a good baseline of cleanliness for all your tissues, body and mind…

END OF QUOTE

So, now we know!

Before you rush off and fill you days with meditation, skin brushing, oiling, sleeping, walking, sweating, exercising, dieting, shopping colourful vegetables, breathing as instructed, etc. – or, heaven forbid, train as an ‘emunctorologist’ – you might remember that we have covered detox – and that’s what ‘Emunctorology’ essentially turns out to be – several times before on this blog. I think that my conclusions from last year still hold:

If your life-style is unhealthy, don’t think that detox will help, but change your ways.

If the air that you breathe or the water that you drink are polluted, don’t think that detox is the solution, but punish the government that is responsible for these disasters and vote for someone more responsible.

Detox, as used in alternative medicine, is stupid, unethical nonsense promoted by charlatans of the worst kind; don’t fall for it!!!

Virologists have discovered the very virus that is threatening the survival of the UK. It is a Coxsackie virus, to be precise, a mutation of the one responsible for HAND FOOT AND MOUTH DISEASE. In contrast to the Coxsackie A 16, the new ‘Coxsackie Brexit Strong’ (‘Coxsackie BS’ for short) seems to attack mostly adult Brits. By no means everybody is affected, and the scientists have already identified important risk factors:

  • being English,
  • being a nationalist,
  • white colour,
  • male gender,
  • age 60 and older,
  • low intelligence,
  • affluence,
  • cronyism,
  • aversion to Frogs,
  • dislike of Huns,
  • unusual dress-sense,
  • propensity of fill own pockets,
  • urge to invest in tax-heavens.

The infected individuals display a wide range of symptoms, including the compulsory repetition of slogans such as:

  • Brexit is Brexit!
  • We want our country back!!
  • The will of the people!!!
  • Get over it!!!!
  • Strong and stable!!!!!
  • The treasury are fiddling the figures!!!!!!

The disease is dangerously progressive, and its victims show increasing breakdown of reason, critical thinking, insight into facts, common sense, understanding of economics, ability to consider the views of experts, as well as further cognitive functions. Other significant symptoms, particularly of the later stages of the condition, is the urge to become the laughing-stock of other nations, galloping jingoism, and depicting uninfected individuals as ‘Remoaners’.

The danger for the UK arises from the fact that victims are eager to take over high places, for instance in politics. As the disease progresses, they become more and more ruthless in pursuing their aim to ‘MAKE BRITAIN GERAT AGAIN’. They tend to make false promises, lie in Parliament, avoid questions, withhold information, engage in intrigues, attempt to turn the BBC into a propaganda machine in the style of Josef Goebbels etc. … and, when confronted with the truth, shrug it off with an imbecilic smile.

The virus, it is assumed, affects the brain’s newly discovered ‘honesty-centre’ and turns it into a malignant ‘xenophobia centre’. The victim feels no pain; instead (s)he is taken over by an ever-increasing sense of righteousness and an urge to behave like a ‘little Englander’. In some badly affected individuals, this phenomenon shows itself in a bizarre dress-sense (e. g. ‘Victorian undertaker’).

Several concerned scientists have issues a nation-wide alert stating: ‘This is a national emergency! If the virus remains unchecked, the UK will go straight back into the Dark Ages.’

Virologists are currently working tirelessly trying to find a cure; experts say that it will take months to make meaningful progress. “We are working flat out, but our immunisation might come too late – not least because, due to insufficient funding, we have to work on a shoestring”, said one desperate scientist.

By contrast, enthusiasts from the alternative medicine scene claim to have found the solution: homeopathy!

Researchers at ‘British Science in Homeopathy’ (or ‘BS Homeopathy’) have re-analysed Hahnemann’s Organon in full detail and extrapolated that, based on the guru’s words, they can produce an effective remedy in a timely fashion. In fact, they already have exposed distilled water to the sound of recorded speeches by Hitler, Mussolini, the KKK and Trump. According to homeopathy’s ‘dislike cures dislikes’ principle, this procedure generates a novel ‘mother tincture’, fittingly called ‘Brexit Solution’, or BS for short.

Currently, the homeopaths are potentising this remedy and are organising its large-scale production. However, a fly has been discovered in the homeopathic ointment: a heated debate has erupted amongst these experts whether to employ ‘BS C30’ or ‘BS C200’ for the planned nation-wide emergency immunisation programme. Proponents of the ‘BS C200’ solution insist that such a dramatically high potency is needed in our present acute emergency, while members of the ‘C30 camp’ caution that it might cause a severe homeopathic aggravation which would lead to an outbreak of open hostilities in Europe. “After 70 years of peace, it would be foolish to risk it”, one senior homeopath has been quoted saying.

What better to give to you for the holidays than your very own CHRISTMAS SURVIVAL KIT? This article by Eileen Scullion, Registered Homeopath LicISH ISHom with the Irish Society of Homeopaths explains. Sadly, its recommendations lack sections detailing the evidence for the claims made. Therefore, I have taken the liberty of adding my short scientific assessments (IN BOLD CAPITAL LETTERS):

START OF QUOTE

1. Over indulgence

Nux Vomica – For symptoms that arise after over indulgence and excess in food, alcohol, tobacco and coffee. The person suffers from headaches, indigestion, nausea and irritability and symptoms are worse in the morning or after eating.

Arsenicum – For symptoms of diarrhea, vomiting, cramps where you suspect food poisoning.

ZERO PLAUSIBILITY, NO EVIDENCE FOR EFFECTIVENESS.

2. Stress & Anxiety

Argentum Nitricum – Anxiety from worry that it won’t work out – What if the turkey burns? What if the electric goes out? What if the gifts don’t arrive on time? There is a great sense of urgency, hurriedness and worrying about everything with sleepless nights of tossing and turning.

ZERO PLAUSIBILITY, NO EVIDENCE FOR EFFECTIVENESS.

3. Sleep problems

Coffea – Sleeplessness from excitement. For the kids who just can’t sleep in anticipation of Santa’s arrival.

ZERO PLAUSIBILITY, NO EVIDENCE FOR EFFECTIVENESS.

4. Anger and resentment

Staphysagria – If you are feeling angry and resentful and are suffering in silence, or have difficulty in saying no but feel walked over, then this is an excellent remedy to help verbalise things or process your emotions.   Pent up emotions can also be accompanied with urinary tract infections where this remedy fits the symptoms.

ZERO PLAUSIBILITY, NO EVIDENCE FOR EFFECTIVENESS.

5. Colds

Aconite – If caught at the early stage, nip those colds in the bud that come on suddenly after exposure to cold dry winds or getting chilled.

ZERO PLAUSIBILITY, NO EVIDENCE FOR EFFECTIVENESS.

END OF QUOTE

As the ‘survival kit’ turns out to be pure speculation, fantasy and wishful thinking, let’s join into the seasonal fun and add some equally evidence-based homeopathic treatments of our own.

1. World peace

We all live in dangerous times, but the way to world peace could be guaranteed by this homeopathic remedy: Donald Trump C30. It is manufactured by exposing a glass of distilled water to a picture of the US president for about 30 minutes and then potentising the mother tincture 30 times in the time-tested way of homeopathy.

2. Fuzzy head

After all the booze and laziness over the holidays, one is bound to feel oddly fuzzy, incoherent and unfocussed. My homeopathic remedy for this complaint is HRH C200. You can make it yourself: take a vial of distilled water to a public library, find Prince Charles’ book ‘Harmony‘ (do not buy this book! it is expensive and not worth it), put the vial between its pages and shake vigorously. Subsequently return the book to its shelve and potentise your mother tincture 200 times.

3. Poverty

Yes, Christmas is expensive! If your bank account is now empty, don’t worry: homeopathy can help. Take your last fiver, cut a tiny bit off, grind it down in some sugar, put the mixture in distilled water, and your mother tincture is ready. You can then potentise it in the usual way; if you want to become a millionaire use the £ C30 potency; if you prefer to be a billionaire, I recommend the £ C200 dilution.

I must stop myself here, because I hope you, the reader of this post, will now chip in. If you are suffering from any symptom at all, please use your imagination and, based on the ‘like cures like’ principle, design your very own homeopathic cure.

Yes, that’s my Christmas challenge.

Have fun!

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