Did you know? We are all in urgent need of chiropractic adjustments!

Yes, it’s true: we all suffer from potentially poor health due to subluxations of our vertebrae. If they have not yet made us ill, they will do so shortly. But luckily, there is hope: rush to your chiropractor, get adjusted (pay cash) and all will be well.

If you don’t believe me, read what a chiropractor wrote on his website. The message could not be clearer:

Today you are going to learn what it is that causes your spinal misalignments or subluxations. Remember that a subluxation is a partial or incomplete dislocation of a vertebra. And contrary to what you may have been told or think or believe, we all have them. It is virtually impossible for all 24 of your spinal vertebrae to remain in their correct anatomical position because what causes a subluxation is stress. And each and every one of us is affected by stress each and every single day of our lives. The best way for me to explain stress is with the 3 T’s. The 3 T’s are traumas, thoughts and toxins. Traumas are those physical stresses that can affect our body. Examples are the birth process, the falls we have as toddlers as we learn to stand, walk and run, all the bumps, bruises and falls we suffer throughout our childhood, sporting injuries, car accidents, pregnancy, texting on a cell phone and prolonged sitting at a desk (computer). Thoughts are those mental/emotional stresses that can affect our body. Examples are job insecurity, relationship difficulties, being bullied at school and witnessing your parents go through a separation/divorce as a child. Toxins are the chemical stresses that can affect our body. The absolute number 1 chemical stressor is vaccines and immunizations. Other examples of chemical stressors are antibiotics, medications, recreational drugs, tobacco, alcohol and of course a poor diet. As human beings we can never escape the collective effects of stress. Some people have more physical stress, others more mental/emotional and others more chemical stress. But we all are affected by all 3 types of stress which means that we are always at risk of getting subluxations in our spine. What I would like you to do is think what the biggest source of stress is in your life and your children’s lives. Is it traumas, thoughts or toxins?

Yes, yes, yes: ‘The absolute number 1 chemical stressor is vaccines and immunizations.’ And those evil doctors – no, not doctors of chiropractic, doctors of medicine who have managed to steal the title that belongs to chiropractors – are all out to poison us! They are being paid by BIG PHARMA so that our kids are forced to get injected with pure poison.

These so-called doctors also prescribe antibiotics and other medications. As though anyone would ever need them! They are based on what is called the ‘germ theory of disease’. As chiropractors, we have long refuted this ridiculous theory; it is absurd: germs do not cause disease – subluxations are responsible for all that ails humans. But this simple yet important message has been suppressed by the medical mafia since the last 120 years.

So, do yourself a favour and immediately take your entire family to a chiropractor. He is your ideal and only primary care physician. No drugs, no immunizations – just adjustments to benefit your health (and the chiropractor’s cash flow).

PS

In case someone is not quite switched on today: THIS IS A JOKE! DON’T FOLLOW THIS ADVICE, IT MIGHT HARM YOUR HEALTH IRREPARABLY.